Longing
by Silver-Hair-Lover
Summary: It is said that some lives are linked across time, drawn together by unknown forces to fulfill a destiny. Alistair and Shadow are about to find out what that destiny is, But will it be enough to save Ferelden from the Blight?
1. Special Delivery Pt 1

**Bioware owns everything but what I made up.**

_This is my first fanfic ever so please go easy on me. I want to give a special shout out to __**Erynnar **__who is a talented writer and the one who inspired me to write a fanfic of my own. You should really check out her works, __**The First Cut Is Always The Deepest**__,__** Soul mates**__ (which is the sequel to The First Cut), __**and Whispering Sighs of the Blade**__ ( which was written to add depth to the story, The First Cut Is Always The Deepest)._

_I know that Duncan seems OOC in these first couple chapters but keep in mind that he is only about 20 years old here, and more prone to show his emotions, as I dont think his hard exterior came until later, and that (at least in my story) this experience was a contributing factor to his later personality._

_And I want to thank all of you who read/review my work. You all are the reason I write._

**Goddess Bless!**

Chapter 1 - Special Delivery - Pt. 1

A lone rider could be seen barreling down the Imperial Highway headed for Lake Calenhad. He was a very young man, maybe 20 years old at the most, if someone were to hazard a guess. He had a strong well muscled body, dark tan skin, and dark brown eyes that saw more than they let on. He had shoulder length ebony colored hair which was pulled back into a ponytail at the base of his head. His beard and mustache were trimmed and well groomed and he sported an earring in his right ear, and if not for the Grey Warden uniform that he wore he could have easily been mistaken for a Rivaini pirate. He was riding as if he had the very darkspawn themselves on his heels, a look of staunch determination written on his face.

The wind was picking up and thunder could be heard rumbling in the distance. The air was unseasonably chilly for being the summer season in Ferelden. Usually the weather would be hot and balmy this time of year, and it did not bode well that the weather had had such a sudden change. Thankfully the moon that was rising was full and bright, making traveling at night a bit easier.

"_I need to reach the inn at the Lake Calenhad docks before the storm hits, it would not be good to get caught out in the rain", _Duncan thought to himself as he pushed his horse even harder. The small bundle strapped to his chest stirred and fussed, as if she could sense his distress. Duncan looked down at the fussing babe and whispered, "Do not worry little one everything will be alright, we'll make it to the inn in time", in an attempt to soothe her fussing. They rode on for another three hours, keeping just ahead of the storm until Lake Calenhad finally came into view.

Duncan hurried through the small town and down the hill to the inn that stood right next to the docks. The name of the inn, as he recalled, was called _The Spoiled Princess_. Duncan let out a tiny chuckle as he thought of his small cargo, but then quickly sobered when he remembered the fate that awaited her on the morrow. If circumstances were a little different she may have been a spoiled princess, but alas the Maker seemed to have other plans for this child. "Sometimes the Maker could be a right royal arse", Duncan thought bitterly. The sound of the stable boy coming out to greet him pulled Duncan from his sullen thoughts.

"Take your horse M'lord ?", the young boy asked as Duncan rode up to the stable. Duncan dismounted carefully, keeping one hand wrapped around the child so that she did not fall out of the carry sling as he got off the horse. "Thank you young man", Duncan said as the boy led the horse to a stall. The young man, who said his name was Farrel, removed Duncan's pack from his horse and handed it to him. Duncan set the pack down on the ground and began rummaging through it while the stable boy removed the rest of the horse's trappings. Once the boy had finished putting everything away Duncan called him back over to him.

"Anything else I can do for you M'lord?", Farrel asked. "As a matter of fact there is", Duncan replied. "Can you ensure that my horse is well fed and blanketed tonight, as I fear it will be a rather chilly night tonight?" The boy smiled broadly, "Yes M'lord, I will see to it, and if it pleases you I can brush him down for you as well."

Duncan smiled back at the boy and thanked him for his generosity by tossing him a silver coin that he had gotten from his coin purse as he was rummaging around in his pack. The boy's eyes went wide as he eyed the silver coin in his hand. "Wow, thank you M'lord!" the boy exclaimed. It was more money than the boy had ever had. Duncan put his coin purse back in his pack and tied it back up. Just as he was slinging the pack onto his back the child in the carry sling began to fuss and cry.

"Alright little one, I'll get you some warm milk as soon as we get a room", Duncan cooed at the babe, while he patted her back in an attempt to calm her. Duncan walked out of the stables and down to the shoreline of Lake Calenhad. With a sad and heavy sigh Duncan looked out across the lake to the Circle of Magi Tower. "Tomorrow you will reach your new home little one", Duncan said sadly as he looked down at his small charge with unshed tears in his eyes. As if the child knew the fate that was about to befall her, she let out an ear piercing wail. "Yes I know little one, I do not like it anymore than you do", Duncan said remorsefully. Duncan began rocking the babe and rubbing her back as he tried to calm her. He knew all to well what lay in store for her at the Circle Tower.

Since the beginning mages have always been looked upon with fear and contempt, treated as less than people, because of the power they wield. Duncan understood the necessity of the Tower and the Templars, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Even though the Tower was meant to protect mages from those that would do them harm, it was still a prison, one that they couldn't leave accept under the most strictest of watches. And if you tried to escape from the tower, the templars would hunt you down, calling you apostate, and killed you, no trial no justice.

And then there were the Templars, the so called guardians of the mages, more like wardens and executioners Duncan thought. They watched the mages, always watching their every move "to ensure that they don't turn into abominations", so the chantry says. The mages were allowed no privacy what-so-ever, not even in the private moments of bathing and such, the templars always had eyes everywhere, even if you didn't always see them. And many templars abused the power they had over the mages, threatening them with death if they didn't do what the templar wanted. It made Duncan sick to his stomach.

Then there was the horrid practice of Tranquility. Duncan cringed at the thought of those who underwent the rite or were forced to because those in charge thought you were too dangerous to become a mage. It turned his stomach to think of them being stripped of their emotions, the side affect of being cut off from the Fade, so they could be made "safe". Tranquil mages were the only ones allowed to roam outside the tower unfettered.

Then there was the Maker forsaken Harrowing. Every person with magical ability, who did not undergo the rite of tranquility, had to undergo a trial by fire, The Harrowing. Thrown to the mercy of a Demon in the Fade, unequipped and unprepared, to fight for their life and if they failed the test and became possessed or even just took to long, they were put to death by the templars. "Completely barbaric and cruel!" Duncan thought to himself with disgust. Mages aren't encouraged to marry, and since they rarely ever leave the tower, opportunities to meet people and fall in love are slim to begin with. And they are not allowed to have relations with other mages either. If two mages managed to fall in love, any children that may result from that union are taken away as soon as they are born, and the parents are never allowed to see them.

The more Duncan thought about it the more he was tempted to steal the child in his arms away with him to the Grey Wardens, at least there she would be treated decently and with some respect. But Duncan knew that he could not, he couldn't risk angering the Circle and the Chantry, the wardens must remain neutral. But even more important than that, he had made a promise, and he always kept his promises. Duncan let out a heavy sigh, as much as he wanted to save the babe from the lonely life in what Duncan considered nothing more than a prettied up prison, he knew he could not.

With that thought in mind he looked down at the babe in his arms, who's wails had finally settled down into whimpers, and headed for the inn. Just as he entered the inn the storm clouds broke and it started to downpour. It matched his mood, he hated this, but he had given his word that he would see it done. He let out another heavy sigh as he approached the bar. The inn, Duncan noticed to his relief, was quiet and cozy with only a couple of people sitting around the large fireplace at the back of the room.

"Welcome to The Spoiled Princess, my name is Seth, how may I serve you today?", the innkeeper said, giving a curious look at the child in Duncan's arms before returning his gaze to Duncan. "I require lodging for the night for the babe and myself, and a hot meal for the both of us", Duncan replied. The innkeeper was a tall man with short black hair and blue eyes. The dark circles under his eyes belied his cheery tone as he told Duncan what rooms he had available. Duncan set down his pack on the bar and pulled out his coin purse as he asked for a room near the back and the rear exit. Duncan then asked for a meal, a tankard of mead and a skin of goats milk be brought up to his room, along with a couple of extra blankets. Duncan paid for his room and his meal and then handed the innkeeper an extra sovereign for a tip before pulling his pack back on . The innkeeper thanked Duncan for his generosity before asking if there was anything else he could get for him, such as a bath after his meal. "Yes a bath would be welcome, we've been on the road for quite a while and haven't had much of an opportunity for a real bath", Duncan replied. "Would you also have a bassinet or cradle available for the babe to sleep in?", Duncan asked hopefully. "I am truly sorry M'lord but I am afraid that we do not", the innkeeper said nervously as he once again looked at the babe with unconcealed curiosity. Once all the arrangements had been made Duncan headed up to his room.

The Spoiled Princess was nestled into the hillside so that the whole back side of the inn was set right into the bedrock of the hill. Duncan let out a small chuckle as he neared his room. "_Old habits die hard", _he thought as he realized that not only was the room far enough away from the others as to not disturb anyone should the child wake at night, but was also the closest to the rear exit for a quick getaway if needs be. Duncan pulled out the key the innkeeper had given him, unlocked the door, stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Now that he was inside Duncan took a good look around the room, studying his surroundings. The room was easily defendable, as the only ways into the room were through the door or through the small window that was used for ventilation. The room was sparsely furnished with a bed, a chamber pot, a small desk and chair, and a metal tub with a curtain hung for privacy. There was a good sized fireplace against the far wall just on the other side of the small desk, with a fire already steadily going in the fire pit.

"_This could be a problem", _Duncan thought as he looked at the single bed. "_I suppose the babe could sleep on my chest as she had when we were forced to camp outside at night, but I am afraid that I might accidentally injure her if I rolled over in my sleep, or thrashed around if I have one of the nightmares that all wardens suffer from_", Duncan mused as he tried to figure out what to do. He was amazed that he hadn't had any nightmares while on the road so far, but falling off someone who's already on the ground is a lot different than falling off someone on a bed, it was a lot farther to fall. All of the inns they had stayed at on their journey here luckily had had a bassinet or cradle that he could use, sadly it looked like that was not the case here. "_This will not do at all, I'll have to figure out a makeshift bed for the babe", _Duncan thought with a mental grumble.

Duncan walked over to the bed and undid the straps to the carry sling, laying her down on the bed for now. He decided to worry about the sleeping arrangements later, and set about unpacking the items they would need for tonight. Just then he heard a knock at the door and went to answer it, it was the chambermaid bringing up the extra blankets he had requested. Duncan let her in and went back to his unpacking. She came in carrying a basket with not only the blankets he had asked for but also some towels and soap for the bath. Duncan eyed the basket and an idea came to him. "Would it be alright if I borrowed your basket for tonight? The innkeeper didn't have a bed for the babe to sleep in, so I was thinking I could use your basket to make a makeshift one for her, it would do for the night at least", Duncan asked the chambermaid expectantly. "Certainly M'lord", the chambermaid replied, "I have many more that I can use for my duties, it would be no trouble."

Duncan took the basket from her and set it down next to the bed. "Thank you …. Umm?" "Oh forgive my poor manners M'lord, I did not introduce myself. My name is Elaina", she said modestly. "If there is anything else you require please do not hesitate to call on me", Elaina said somewhat dreamily as she stared at Duncan. "_He looks like a dashing rogue or a pirate from on of those old tales, and sooo handsome_", she thought as she blushed slightly and looked at the floor in embarrassment. "Thank you Elaina", Duncan said while trying to suppress an embarrassing blush of his own at the obvious interest she was showing him. The maid was a pretty young woman, with sandy blonde hair that was pulled back into one long braid down her back. She had striking sea blue eyes, they were the first thing Duncan noticed about her when she first entered the room.

Elaina turned to leave but just as she got to the door her curiosity got the better of her. She turned back to Duncan, cleared her throat and shyly asked, "Might I beg a question M'lord?" Duncan nodded for her to proceed so she asked, "Is the babe yours M'lord? I do not mean to pry, it is just that it is very odd for a man to travel alone with a child, without so much as a wet nurse. Even odder to see a Grey Warden with a child." "Please forgive my rudeness, I am merely curious M'lord, you need not answer if you do not wish to", she added quickly, mentally admonishing herself for being so forward with such an important person as the Commander of the Grey.

Duncan looked over at the babe lying quietly on the bed and then back at the maid. Duncan smiled a sad sort of smile as he said, "No she's not mine". He looked again at the child on the bed and sighed heavily as he continued, "But I was named as her guardian by her parents. I am taking her to her new home", Duncan managed to say. He didn't want to think about this now, it was going to be hard enough without constant reminders from curious people that he had to let her go tomorrow.

But the maid's curiosity was really peaking now, so she asked, "What happened to her parents?" Duncan let out a great heaving sigh, he had to put an end to these questions. He looked at the woman with a pained expression full of sorrow and regret as he said, "I am sorry, but I am not permitted to speak more of it." Duncan turned away from her then, as unshed tears threatened to fall, and walked over to the bed and sat down next to the babe, his back to the maid. Realizing she would get no further information from him, Elaina turned to go. "My apologies M'lord, I did not mean to bring up painful memories", she said remorsefully as she retreated out of the room.

Once she had closed the door behind her Duncan took a deep, heaving breath, trying to collect himself, fighting back the tears that still threatened to fall. He decided to distract himself from any further thoughts about it by emptying out the basket and getting things ready for this evening. Duncan put the soap and towels on the small table next to the bed. Once that was done, he pulled out the blankets, setting one on the end of the bed while he folded up the other and set it back in the basket. "_That should do as a bed for the babe_", Duncan thought, "_I can use the other blanket to cover her when I put her down for the night_."

Another knock at the door signaled that his meal had arrived. "Please come in", Duncan said. Elaina entered with a very large tray, and Duncan indicated for her to set it down on the table next to the towels and soap. Once she had deposited her tray Elaina left quietly and closed the door behind her.

Duncan got up and walked over to the small table and sat down to eat. The babe on the bed was cooing softly and Duncan thought sadly, with a pang of regret, "_She's such a good child, I really wish I could take her with me_." Duncan let out a silent sigh and turned back to his meal. It was a thick beef stew with vegetables, a whole round of bread, and a tankard of spiced ale. Elaina had even made sure to bring plenty of fresh butter for the bread and a plate of various fruits and cheeses.

Duncan spoke quietly over his shoulder to the infant on the bed, "Let me finish my meal little one, and then I will feed you some nice goat's milk when I'm done. Duncan received a loud gurgling giggle as a response from the babe. Duncan ate quickly, chuckling lightly to himself, as he looked at the size of the bowl of stew he was given. The "bowl" looked more like a small cauldron rather than an actual bowl. "_Elaina must have had experience with the Grey Wardens' legendary appetites' before_", Duncan thought with a chuckle. He smiled and made a mental note to leave her a generous tip.

Once he was done with his meal and ale, Duncan set the tray outside the door so Elaina could collect it. After he closed the door he went back over to his pack and pulled out a strange looking contraption. It looked like the "tit" of a cow, with one end tied off with a leather cord and the other end was open, but had a drawstring to close it once filled. Duncan took the skin of goat's milk off the table and filled the "tit", pulling the drawstring closed once it was full. He set the skin of goat's milk back on the table and walked back over to the bed. He laid the contraption down on the bed and picked up the baby. He used his free hand to grab the pillows and prop them up against the wall at the head of the bed. Duncan sat down on the bed and leaned back against the pillows, and adjusted the babe in his arms so that she was in a good position to feed her. He picked up the "tit" and bent one end up so he could untie the cord without the milk spilling out. Duncan settled back into the pillows and brought the tit to the babe's mouth and began feeding her. She took the tit readily and Duncan watched as she ate. He would have sworn that she **was** a Grey Warden as her appetite was as ravenous as his. Duncan chuckled at this thought, but then his chest constricted painfully at the thought of leaving her at the tower tomorrow.

Tears once again threatened to overwhelm him, "_Oh how I wish I could take you with me little one. I probably will not have any children of my own as it is nearly impossible for a Grey Warden to have children_", Duncan thought sullenly. "_Maker give me strength to do what must be done_", Duncan begged the Maker. Once she had finished eating, Duncan burped and changed her. As he rocked her to sleep her tiny little hand held onto his finger as he thought back to the events of the last few weeks that lead him here.


	2. Painful Choices

**Bioware owns everything but what I made up.**

_This chapter is told from Duncan's pov as he thinks back on the events that lead him to where he is now._

_This is my first fanfic ever so please go easy on me. I want to give a special shout out to __**Erynnar **__who is a talented writer and the one who inspired me to write a fanfic of my own. You should really check out her works, __**The First Cut Is Always The Deepest**__,__** Soulmates**__ (which is the sequel to The First Cut), __**and Whispering Sighs of the Blade**__ (which was written to add depth to the story, The First Cut Is Always The Deepest)._

_I know that Duncan seems OOC in these first couple chapters but keep in mind that he is only about 20 years old here, and more prone to show his emotions, as I don't think his hard exterior came until later, and that (at least in my story) this experience was a contributing factor to his later personality._

_A big thank you to __**mackillian and Sharem**__ for putting me on their story alerts list! That means so much to me!_

_And I want to thank all of you who read/review my work. You all are the reason I write._

**Goddess Bless!**

It was a scant three weeks ago…

It was Summerday and I was visiting my dear friends, Bryce and Eleanor Cousland at their castle in Highever. They were holding a Grand Tourney to celebrate the impending birth of the newest addition to the Cousland family. I attended under the guise of seeking new recruits for the order, but I was happy to be able to visit with my friends.

I met the Couslands only a year ago at a Landsmeet held by King Maric Theirin. After Maric had accompanied us wardens on our mission into the Deep Roads, he realized that Grey Wardens were needed and lifted the ban that kept us out of Ferelden. He held a Landsmeet upon his return to formally welcome us back to Ferelden.

It was Maric who introduced me to the Couslands, as Maric and I had struck up a friendship in the Deep Roads, he wanted me to meet his most loyal supporters and dearest friends, Bryce and Eleanor Cousland. They were loyal, honest, fair-minded people with keen wits and even sharper tongues. I took a liking to the Couslands immediately, and they to me.

Over the course of the next year I found any excuse I could to visit them in Highever. Most of the time I used the excuse that I was scouting for recruits, as Highever was well known for producing fine warriors. I became very close to the Cousland family, and they considered me as part of their family. Young Fergus was a little scamp, always getting into trouble, he reminded me of myself at that age. The Couslands became my surrogate family, the one I never had.

So I was not surprised when they invited me to the Tourney to celebrate the soon-to-be birth of their child. I think my commander, Renaldo, knew of my close relationship with the Couslands because he did not object when I once again used the ruse of recruitment to go see them.

So there I was sitting next to Eleanor and Bryce in the balcony overlooking the training arena where the tourney was being held. The guardsmen and knights of Highever were displaying their skills, all hoping to gain the attention of the Commander of the Grey. The morning pasted without much difficulty. Eleanor looked very uncomfortable, but didn't complain. I asked if she was alright, as did Bryce, but she just waved us off saying that it was just some back pain. Bryce asked one of the servants to bring an extra cushion for the teyrna.

We watched several more duels until they stopped for lunch, which we ate in the balcony. Soon after lunch had ended however, the teyrna excused herself to go lie down as she said she wasn't felling well. Bryce looked at his wife with loving concern, but again she just shrugged it off. "I'm fine", she said, "It must have been something I ate." But when she finally stood to leave, she grunted in pain. She grabbed the railing of the balcony with one hand and her abdomen with the other, as another wave of pain shot through her. Bryce and I were immediately at her side.

Eleanor looked at Bryce, smiling despite the pain, and said as calmly as she could, "Bryce dear I think you had best fetch the midwife and healer, I think it is time." Bryce smiled back at his wife and called the guard standing in a corner of the balcony over to him. "Call the midwife and the healer to the teyrna's birthing chamber immediately", Bryce told the man.

The guard brought his arm up across his chest in salute and bowed to the teyrn, before turning on his heel and running to the castle to carry out his orders. Bryce and I helped the teyrna to the castle, until another sharp pain ripped through her making it impossible to walk. Bryce didn't blink an eye, he just picked her up bridal style and carried her the rest of the way into the castle and to the birthing room.

Nan, who was the Cousland Castle cook, was also the midwife as she was the one who helped Fergus into the world. The mage healer, who gave her name as Wynne, had been staying with the Couslands for the past month in anticipation of the birth. The First Enchanter had assigned her to the teyrna, when Bryce had asked for one, now that it was close to time to the baby being born.

Once the teyrna was settled into the birthing bed, Wynne shooed Bryce and I out of the room. "She has enough to worry about without having two nervous and anxious men pacing up and down the room", Wynne said with a warm smile. "I will call you should we need you", she said to Bryce while patting his arm to try and comfort him.

Bryce and I did what we could to pass the time as we waited for the babe to be born. We talked about a number of subjects, everything from the politics to philosophy and even mundane things like the weather. We played wicked grace for a while, with me finally winning the game, but I suspect that was because Bryce was so distracted. He was worried about his wife and child. It was late into the evening when Nan and the mage emerged, both wearing looks of joy coupled with trepidation. Bryce saw them first and knew something wasn't right by the looks on their faces.

"What's wrong?", Bryce asked as calmly as he could. The look Wynne gave him was one of pity, even as she reassured him that the teyrna and the **babies** were fine and healthy. "Babies?", Bryce asked, a look of pure elation on his face. "Yes your lordship", Wynne responded. "Twin girls, they would be identical if not for the differences in hair and eye color." Bryce was overjoyed. I clapped him on the shoulder and offered my congratulations, but I had seen the look of pity in Wynne's eyes and knew something wasn't right.

Wynne cleared her throat before she spoke again, "My apologies your lordship, but there is something you must know about one of your daughters before you see them." Bryce looked at Wynne and furrowed his brow, "What is it? Is she alright? What's wrong?" Wynne sighed softly before answering, "One of your daughters is a mage", Wynne stated matter-of-factly. Bryce furrowed his brow again, confused, "How can you tell? I thought mage talents didn't surface till later in childhood?" Wynne looked at Bryce and in a tone that sounded like a teacher instructing a student she stated, "That is usually the case, but there are rare instances where a mage is born with so much raw power that the signs manifest soon after birth."

"What kind of sign could an infant show right after birth that would make you believe she was a mage", Bryce asked trying to keep the incredulity out of his voice. Wynne gave Bryce an exasperated look as she answered, "Well M'lord usually when a baby takes their first screaming breaths in the world their hands do not burst into flames. I had to use a cold spell to put out her hands before she burned anything, or anyone, and then a sealing rune to keep her magic in check for now." Bryce looked like he had been struck dumb, his usual calm and collected demeanor vanishing as he heard the news. I was a bit shocked at first myself, as I more than likely had the same dumbfounded look on my face. "_Indeed the child must be powerful to show such potent signs right after birth_", I thought to myself. Bryce collected himself and asked to see his wife and children.

Wynne placed her hand on Bryce's arm in a comforting gesture as she said softly, "Give me a few minutes to get them cleaned up a bit before you see them M'lord." We sat back down on the long, cushioned bench in the hall outside the birthing room. Bryce looked grief stricken, the gravity of what he had learned about his daughter finally hitting him. "My daughter is a mage", he breathed, still not wanting to believe it. He said it again but this time a look of awe mixed with a sorrowful acceptance covered his face. "I guess this means I'll have to send her to the Circle Tower for training", he said sadly.

I felt badly for my friend, but I was not someone who spoke well about emotions. So I did what I could, I put my hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you my friend, I appreciate you being here, I don't think I could go through this alone", Bryce said sadly as he put his hand over mine. He looked at me with such a sad look in his eyes, like a man who had been broken, and it nearly did me in. Bryce was about to say something else when Wynne came back out to announce that the teyrna and the babies were ready for visitors. I gave Bryce's shoulder another squeeze before following him into the birthing room.

After we walked in and closed the door behind us Bryce rushed over to his wife, and after sitting down on the edge of the bed, he leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. Eleanor was holding one of the babies in her arms, and I could see she had been crying. The babe she held, I noticed with some surprise, had the most unusual blue-black colored hair. It looked like the night sky just before the sun dips below the horizon. But when she opened her eyes, my jaw literally hit the floor. They were much the same as a Grey Warden's after they take the joining, only much brighter. They were the lightest color of ice blue and they seemed to glow with a light of their own, like the full moon in the dark of night.

I collected myself quickly lest they see me gaping as I walked over to the bed. Bryce was wearing much the same expression that I had been. "She's beautiful Eleanor", he said somewhat poignantly. Eleanor smiled a sad smile as she looked at her daughter. She too knew what it meant that their daughter was a mage. "Yes she is", she replied and then burst into a new round of tears. "Damn the Chantry and the Circle for their sodding rules!", she ranted. "Why would the Maker bless us with this child only to have her taken away!" I felt so helpless, no one deserved to lose their child for such a stupid reason.

Nan sat down on the other side of the bed and handed their other daughter to Bryce, who hugged her close. Wynne walked over to the bed wearing a look of sympathy on her face for the couple.

"Bryce, love, what should we name them?", Eleanor managed to sob out. Bryce looked lovingly at both his daughters, taking in their features, and thought for a few moments. After a few minutes had passed he announced, "These may not be traditional Ferelden names, but our daughters are hardly your ordinary Fereldens. For our mage child, I will call her ShadowMoon, because her hair is the color of the night sky and her eyes are like the bright full moon. And for our other daughter, I choose Solaria, because her hair is the color of the golden sun and her eyes are the color of the bright blue sky on a sunny summer day." Eleanor hugged Shadow, as she would come to call her, close to her as a new round of tears started to fall.

I watched as Bryce tried to comfort his wife as his own tears slid down his face, and I thought, "_The Maker is a right royal arse, to put such good people through such pain, and condemn a child to a lonely life at the Circle Tower. A right royal arse indeed_." Nan spoke just then, effectively ending my mental tirade against the Maker.

"Should I bring Fergus in here to meet his new sisters?", she asked. Bryce and Eleanor looked at each other and came to a silent agreement before he answered. Sighing heavily before he spoke he said, "No not yet, not before Shadow has been taken to the Circle Tower." Nan made to protest but Bryce put up a hand to silence her before he continued.

"I know it sounds cruel but Elle and I believe it is best for all concerned. If Fergus meets his sisters only to have one taken away the same night, it would cause him much pain. Better to believe he only has one sister that he can love and be happy with. And we will not tell Solaria about her either, when she gets older, for the same reason. And as for Shadow, I ask that she never know where she comes from or who her family is. She would suffer the most should she find out who her parents are. Knowing that she has a family out there that she cannot be a part of would just make her life at the Tower that much harder. And if she tried to leave the tower to find us, well, we all know how that would end. She would be branded an apostate, and hunted down by the templars, and we do not wish that upon her."

"_Yes_", I thought, "_the templars are a stubborn lot, who didn't care for the reasons someone tried to leave the tower, even if they were noble ones. All who try to leave are hunted down like animals and most of the time killed_." I could see that this decision was killing the both of them, and it was all I could do to keep the tears from my eyes. It just seemed so unfair, but I also knew that life was rarely fair.

We were all silent for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts. The babies had fallen asleep, unaware of the seriousness of the discussion going on around them. "If it pleases you M'lord, I can take the babe to the Circle Tower, it should be done quickly if we are to keep little Shadow's birth a secret", Wynne said as gently as she could. Bryce looked up at her and shook his head. "Thank you Wynne but I would prefer if someone else took her."

"Very well M'lord, I have traced an anti-magic rune on her belly using ink and a drop of lyrium. It should hold her magic in check until she reaches the Circle Tower. I will take my leave then and head back to the Circle to inform the First Enchanter of her impending arrival. Should I inform him of who her parents are?", Wynne asked as she turned to leave.

Bryce thought for a moment before he answered, "Yes inform the First Enchanter and the Knight Commander and no one else. And tell them they are to tell no one else, especially Shadow, who and what she is."

"As you wish M'lord", Wynne said and then added, "Oh and by the way M'lord, make sure that whoever you do intend to have take her knows not to wash off the rune or get it wet." Wynne pulled out a small vial of ink and a piece of paper from her robes, "I have extra ink here and a tracing of the rune, just in case, but the rune won't be as strong if a non-mage has to draw the rune. Better to just not get it wet." Wynne handed the vial and paper to Bryce, then dipped her head in a slight bow before turning to leave, closing the door behind her.

Bryce turned to me, his eyes pleading, "Duncan my dear friend, I ask you to do our family a great service. Will you please take Shadow to the Circle Tower and ensure that she arrives there safely? I trust you, you are like a brother to me. Please Duncan, Elle and I could rest easier knowing that you would be watching over her." At first I wasn't sure what to say, but after looking at Shadow, I told him it would be my honor. He then asked something that left me speechless. He asked if I would be Shadow's godfather.

My eyes grew large in surprise, I had not expected that. "Please Duncan", Bryce pleaded, "Please watch over our daughter. Look in on her from time to time and make sure she is alright. If we are to keep this a secret Elle and I can't go to the Tower, but we do not want to abandon her either. We need someone to be a go between, between us and the Tower. Someone who can check on her and let us know how she is doing. A warden visiting the Circle Tower from time to time would seem quite normal and not raise any suspicions."

At first I wanted to say no, I had my duties as the Commander of The Grey, and who knew where those would take me, or how much free time I would have. And then there was the taint in my blood, no grey warden ever really knew how much time they had before the taint would claim them, though the average was about 30 years. But when I looked at Bryce's pleading face, I knew I couldn't deny him this. They had made me a part of their family, and I felt it was only right that I look out for my "daughter", so to speak.

I put my hand on Bryce's shoulder and looked him in the eyes, "Yes Bryce, it would be my honor to be Shadow's godfather, I accept. And I give you my word that I will watch over her and protect her as best I can. And I will try to visit the Tower as often as my duties allow and keep you updated on her life as best I can."

Bryce let out a relieved sigh, and smiled a sad smile, "Thank you Duncan, I can not tell you how much this means to the both of us." Bryce looked over at his wife, who had been uncharacteristically silent this whole time, and asked if she was alright. Her answer tore at my heart. She was looking at Shadow with a sorrowful expression on her face.

She looked up at her husband who was still holding Solaria and said sadly, "I'm sorry Bryce, Duncan, I wasn't trying to ignore either of you, I was just trying to memorize my darling daughter's face. I want to remember every detail of her, as this will most likely be the last time I will ever get to see her", she sobbed. She wiped her tears away with her free hand and then pulled her daughter close, hugging her, afraid to let her go.

"Perhaps we should give you two some time alone with your children", I said to Bryce. "Thank you Duncan, we would appreciate that", Bryce said with sadness in his voice. Nan had been silent this whole time, which I thought was kind of curious seeing how she is usually a very outspoken woman, but I did not say anything.

"Nan, no one can know of this, would you please go with Duncan and see to it that he gets what he needs for their journey to the Tower", Bryce asked. "Certainly M'lord", Nan said as she stood and walked around the bed to the door. "Come on young man, lets get you ready to go and let them have some time to themselves with their girls."

My heart ached for them as I watched them huddle close to each other, their daughters in their arms. Nan ushered me out of the room and closed the door behind us. She called a guard over to us from down the hall, "No one, and I mean no one, is to enter this room until Duncan and I return, do you understand me?", she said in a stern voice that would make most people flinch. "Yes ma'am", the guard replied and crossed his arm over his chest in salute. "Good, because if I find out you let anyone but us in, I'll nail your hide to the castle wall!" I had to stifle a laugh at hearing this, Nan looked like a woman who would make good on her threat.

"Well young man lets get moving. I've got a whole castle to feed, and it would not be good for us to tarry too long", Nan said as she hooked her arm in mine. We walked to my room, which was right down the hall from Bryce and Eleanor's, and retrieved my pack before heading to the kitchen for supplies. "_It's a good thing I packed light because I'm going to need a lot of room for all the things I need for the baby_", I thought as Nan piled this and that into my arms. After I had packed the food, skins of milk, and a strange looking contraption Nan said was used to feed the baby with, we headed for the laundry.

Nan gathered up some baby clothes, diapers, blankets, and such that belonged to the castle staff's children. Nan handed me all the items to pack, and told me to wait where I was while she went to go get a couple of things. When she returned she was carrying a sling that would hold the baby safely against my chest as we rode, and a tiny baby cap that once belonged to Fergus.

We walked back to my room to retrieve my weapons and to finish packing up the remainder of my things. Once that was done, I slung the pack over my shoulders and followed Nan back to the birthing room. Once we reached the room Nan dismissed the guard back to his post and headed to the stables, where she said she would be, getting my horse ready to leave. As soon as I entered the birthing room Eleanor burst into tears knowing that her daughter was about to be taken away, most likely never to be seen again. Bryce had tears running down his face as well, but tried to put on a brave front for his wife's sake.

My heart was breaking for them, but I had to stay strong, I had to steel my nerves or I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do what must be done. Eleanor was still holding Shadow, but Bryce had put Solaria down in a makeshift bed made from blankets and a laundry basket, as there was no crib in the birthing room. I gave them a few more minutes to say their goodbyes.

"_Oh how I wish they would hurry_", I thought. It was uncharitable of me to think such thoughts, but my resolve was trickling away with each passing moment, and I feared that if they took too long that I would not be able to do what they had asked of me. It was tearing me apart.

Eleanor gave her daughter one last hug and then kissed her on the forehead. "I love you my darling girl", she sobbed as she handed her to Bryce. Bryce took her and did the same, hugging her tightly and kissing her forehead before saying, "You are my darling daughter, I love you, and I know you will grow into a fine and formidable woman. I know you will do us proud."

He kissed her forehead one last time before placing the tiny cap on her head, and then placing her in the sling, and helping me strap her securely to my chest. Once she was secured I turned to leave, I did not want to prolong their suffering. As I reached the door the dam broke on Bryce's emotions and he fell to his knees and wept wholeheartedly. I turned to them, my face mirroring the pain that they felt, and I once again reassured them that I would take care of Shadow and watch over her in the years to come. Then I wiped the tears that had leaked from my own eyes, and did my best to collect myself before quickly turning to leave.

Once I had closed the door behind me, I took a great heaving breath to steady myself, and then headed for the castle stables. As I walked I wrapped my traveling cloak around us to fend of the chilly night air. My cloak was a blessing as it hid Shadow from immediate view as I hurried to the stables. Nan said she had dismissed the stable hands for the night, giving the excuse that the teyrn was giving them the night off in celebration of the birth of his new daughter.

She had my horse saddled and ready to go and I thanked her for everything as I secured my pack to the saddle. Just as I was turning to lead my horse out of the stables she stopped me. She looked at me sternly, but I could see the worry and concern in her eyes, "You had best take good care of her young man, lest I have to remind you what happens to peoples hides who fail in their duty."

I was confused for a moment, but then I remembered what she had said to the guardsman she had guarding the birthing chamber door earlier. I chuckled softly as I said, "Ah yes, something about hides being nailed to walls." I became very serious then and I gave her my word as Commander of the Grey that she would be safe with me.

"Good, see that she is", she said as she gave me a look that said my head would be hanging from a pike should I fail. Then her face softened as she asked or rather told me, "Now young man let me see the little imp so I can say my goodbyes." I unwrapped my cloak so that she could see Shadow. Nan walked up to me and put her hand on the baby's back as she kissed her on top of her tiny head.

Shadow stirred slightly as Nan whispered in her ear, "You behave yourself little imp, and know that Nan loves you very much, always." She kissed the top of her head one last time before stepping back, unshed tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "You had better get going young man, its going to be light soon, and it would not do for you to still be here once the castle is up and awake", Nan said reluctantly.

"No that would not be good", I agreed as I mounted my horse. I looked at her one last time, silent tears running down her face, and I reiterated my previous mental tirade. "_The Maker is a right royal arse indeed_!" Then I turned away from her, goading my horse into action, I rode out of Highever heading for the Imperial Highway.


	3. Special Delivery Pt 2

_**Bioware owns everything but what I made up!**_

_I have to apologize for how long its taken me to get this chapter up. Between my illnesses reeking havoc for the last few months and other pieces of the story that were haunting my dreams until I wrote them down, I haven't had much time to actually write this chapter lol. This chapter picks up where chapter one leaves off, sorry it's a long chapter, but I wanted to convey the struggle that Duncan was going through. Also I changed the rating to M for later chapters._

_I want to give a special shout out to __**Erynnar **__who is a talented writer and the one who inspired me to write a fanfic of my own. You should really check out her works, __**The First Cut Is Always The Deepest**__,__** Soulmates**__ (which is the sequel to The First Cut), __**and Whispering Sighs of the Blade**__ (which was written to add depth to the story, The First Cut Is Always The Deepest)._

_As always I want to thank all those who put me on favorites and alerts, you know who you are. You all are the reason I write, my inspiration. _

_There are also some talented writers out there that I have had the pleasure of reading their stories, and wanted to give them a shout out, so that you can enjoy them as well. __**Zeeji (Seeing Clearly, **__and__** Seeing Beyond), Pinoko K (The Rose Of Highever), Peddy poo (Highevers Lamented), Lady Cailan (A Child of the Dalish, **__and __**For A Moment), RewindedMiracle (When Two Are One), Jaden Anderson (Awake and Dreaming), and last but certainly not least Elysium-fic (Elysium). **_

_**Well I better wrap this up or I wont have room for the story lol!**_

_**Goddess Bless and Hope you enjoy!**_

_**oooooOOOOooooo**_

Another knock at the door broke Duncan from his trip down memory lane. He carefully got up, so as not to wake Shadow, who was sleeping soundly in his arms. He crossed the room and opened the door with his free hand, silently cursing the intrusion. Elaina was standing in the hall, and as she turned to greet him, her eyes landed on the child in his arms.

"What a strange looking child", she breathed, as she placed her hand over her mouth, a look of unbridled curiosity mixed with surprise settling over her features . Duncan took a step back pulling Shadow protectively to his chest, a barely contained fury that he did not fully understand began to rage to the surface, as he clenched and unclenched his free hand in an attempt to quell it.

Elaina must have seen his internal battle for she immediately cowed and bowing her head and clasping her hands nervously in front of her she quickly apologized. "Forgive me M'lord, I did not mean to offend! I was just taken by surprise, her hair is an unusual color, I have never seen its like before. And the light glow coming from behind her eyelids is a bit ….", Elaina looked down at the floor searching for a word that would not offend him further, " …unsettling", she finally managed to spit out. She looked up at him then and offered a nervous smile and apologized again for any offense.

Duncan visibly relaxed as he turned and walked back into his room. He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at Shadow who had woken up and was starring up at him, giving him a tiny smile. Elaina had come in behind him and had to stifle a gasp as she saw the child's eyes for the first time. "_Very unusual indeed_", she thought as she stared at the child intently.

Duncan noticed her reaction, but paid it no mind, as he was certain she didn't mean anything by it. If he was being completely honest with himself, Duncan would have to admit, young Shadow's appearance would be quite startling to most people at first. He himself had gaped in surprise when he first saw her. "_So why then did Elaina's reaction a moment ago anger me so?". _Duncan was at a loss to explain his sudden outrage_._

Duncan lifted his free hand and lovingly ran a finger down the side of Shadow's tiny cheek as he smiled back at her, and her little smile grew even bigger. Elaina watched as the child's tiny hand grasped Duncan's finger. He lifted her hand to his lips and gave her small fingers a kiss, as if addressing a noble woman. Elaina smile at his tenderness, she could she that he really cared for the child, even if she wasn't his. She stood there watching for a moment before realizing that she had come up to his room to tell him something.

"Forgive the intrusion M'lord, but the water is ready for your bath …. should I have them fill the tub for you now?", she asked gently, hating to interrupt such a tender moment. Without looking up Duncan replied, "Yes that would be fine Elaina", as he kissed Shadow's tiny hand again.

Elaina hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether or not to ask him her next question, but decided to ask anyway. Tentatively Elaina asked, "Huh forgive me M'lord if I am being too forward, but I could watch her for you while you bathed?"

Duncan shook his head, "Thank you for your kind offer, but the little one here needs a bath as well, so I will just take her into the bath with me." "Yes M'lord". Elaina let out a silent sigh and tried hard to hide her disappointment. "I will start bringing up the water for your bath."

Elaina turned and left, closing the door behind her. She returned a few minutes later, two kitchen boys in tow, all carrying buckets of water for the bath. Elaina knocked and entered, the two boys filing in behind her, and started filling the tub. They repeated the process several times until the tub was filled. "Is there anything else I can do for you M'lord?", Elaina asked.

"A couple of extra towels, for the little one here", Duncan replied as he looked down at little Shadow, still nestled in his arms. "Yes M'lord, right away", Elaina said as she turned to leave. She left quickly and returned a few moments later with the extra towels. "Thank you Elaina, that will be all." Elaina curtsied, turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Alright little one, time for a bath", Duncan cooed to the child as he turned and laid her down on the bed. Duncan stood and walked over to the bath for a moment and dipped his fingers in the water, to make sure it wasn't too warm for the babe. Finding that it was fine, he walked back over to the bed and started to remove his armor and clothes. He then undressed Shadow, and rewrapped her in the blanket and set her in the basket by the bed. He picked up the basket and carried it over to the tub and set it down next to it.

"Let me wash up first little one, then it will be your turn", Duncan said to Shadow. He grabbed the soap off the small table and then climbed in the tub, sighing in relief as he sat down in the warm water. Duncan dunked his head under the water to wet it, then set about washing his hair and body. Once he rinsed off, he got back out and unwrapped Shadow from her blanket, and gently picked her up. He carefully got back in the tub, making sure he had a firm hold on her, so as not to accidentally drop her.

Duncan sat down and leaned back against the tub and laid her on his chest. As he held her with one hand he used his other to carefully wet her hair and body down. He picked up the soap that he left in the bottom of the tub and turned it around in his hand till it was good and soapy, then proceeded to wash Shadow's hair. Duncan smiled as she lightly giggled as he laid her down in his arm so that he could rinse her hair. Once that was finished he washed the rest of her. Duncan had to laugh as she kicked and giggled as he dunked her in the water to rinse her off. Once she was all rinsed off, Duncan laid her back on his chest, and just sat there stroking her hair and her back as they relaxed in the warm water.

"_So this is what it feels like to be a father_", Duncan mused as he sat in the bath. He sat there enjoying the feeling as he held her, until a thought came unbidden to his mind. "_Tomorrow, I will have to take her to the Circle Tower_." And with that thought, Duncan did something that he rarely ever did ….he cried. It started slowly, a few tears leaking from his eyes, but the more he thought about leaving her there tomorrow, the harder he cried until he was shaking with the force of it. Little Shadow curled up more closely to him, and her tiny little hand was curling around Duncan's long hair, as if she was trying to comfort him. He realized then just how much he had grown to love his goddaughter in the few short weeks it had taken to travel from Highever to Lake Calanhad.

After what seemed like hours he finally sobered, berating himself, "_I must not falter, I have given my word to Bryce and Eleanor that I would see this done, as much as it pains me to do it._" "_I am a Grey Warden_", he told himself, "_I must do whatever it takes, no matter the cost to myself_." The mantra usually helped to steel his resolve, but at this moment it gave him no comfort.

The water was getting cool so Duncan decided they had best get out, lest either of them caught cold. Duncan made sure he had a firm hold on Shadow as he stepped out of the tub. He walked over to the table and grabbed a couple of towels, setting them on the bed. He spread one out with his free hand and laid Shadow down on it and wrapped her up snugly before grabbing the other and drying himself off. He put on his small clothes and a heavy linen sleep shirt, because although it was well into Bloomingtide, the nights were still a bit chilly. He then went about getting some clean baby clothes and fresh diaper from his pack.

Duncan put the clothes down on the bed and dried Shadow off, careful not to press to hard on the top of her small head as he dried her hair, then diapered and dressed her. Once she was dressed he walked over to the tub and grabbed the basket there, bringing it over to the bed and setting it down next to Shadow. Duncan picked up Shadow and laid her down in the basket, and then tucked the other blanket in around her. Once she was settled Duncan walked over to the fireplace and threw a couple more logs on the fire. "_That should do until morning_", Duncan thought to himself. He walked back over to the bed and grabbed the wet towels to hang over the privacy curtain to dry. He sat the basket Shadow was in down next to the head of his bed. Duncan pulled back the blanket and just as he was climbing into bed, Shadow started to fuss.

"Ohhh, what's wrong little one?", Duncan said softly to Shadow as he picked her up. He laid her on his chest and laid back down, bringing the blanket up to cover them both. "I think I've spoiled you little one", Duncan whispered with a smile as he rubbed her back. He looked down at her and his smile grew wider as he realized she was already fast asleep sucking on her tiny fist. It was the most beautiful thing Duncan had ever seen. Duncan drifted off to sleep, listening to the sound of the pouring rain, with Shadow still curled up on his chest, as she had done so many times on their journey here. And no nightmares haunted his dreams.

**OooooOOOOOooooo**

Morning came all too soon for Duncan. He really hated the thought of leaving her at that tower, and he wondered just how he was going to let his precious goddaughter go. "_The rain hasn't let up from last night yet, so at least I will be able to spend the day with her_", Duncan thought to himself. He sat up carefully, so as not to wake the still sleeping Shadow, and leaned over the side of the bed and laid her down in the basket tucking the blanket up around her. He went over to his pack and dug around in it, pulling out a linen shirt, doeskin leggings, and a fresh pair of socks. He dressed quickly, as it was a bit chilly in the room, and pulled on his boots before going over to the fireplace to stoke it and add another couple of logs to the fire. Once that was done he decided to let the kitchen know he was ready to breakfast.

He hated to wake her but he didn't want to leave her alone in the room when he went down to the kitchen, so he gently picked her up and noticed that she needed changing. So he laid her back down on his bed and went back to his pack to get her some clean clothes and diaper, he also grabbed the little hat that belonged to her big brother Fergus. "_Fergus …. I wonder how Bryce and Eleanor are doing. I'll have to write to them when this is all done. I don't think I would be able to face them, it would be too painful for all concerned_", Duncan thought sadly. Duncan changed and redressed her, then put the little hat on her head to keep it warm. He turned back to the room and started gathering up the dirty laundry and put them in the basket to set out for Elaina to wash so that she could have them ready for when they leave.

The thought of leaving her at the tower made Duncan's chest constricted painfully. He pushed the feeling aside with a heavy sigh. "_It must be done, I gave my word, and I keep my word_", he told himself, but it did not bring him any comfort. Duncan finished gathering the laundry and set it out in the hall. He walked back to the bed and picked up Shadow, and headed downstairs to see about getting something for them to eat.

Duncan saw Elaina coming up the stairs and stopped her to ask if she would tend to the laundry he left in the hall and have it ready for when they had to leave later that evening. She said that she would have it ready by the time they had to leave, then took her leave to go tend to it. Duncan continued down the stairs and made his way over to the bar to speak to the innkeeper about getting some breakfast.

Seth tried not to stare as Duncan walked up to the bar and got his first good look at the babe in Duncan's arms. Elaina had told him of the child's strange looks and warned him not to say anything that would be offensive as the warden was very protective of the child. Seth grew up next to the Circle Tower, so he was somewhat used to seeing strange things, but even he had to admit that the babe was quite unusual. He guessed that she was a mage child, as he had heard stories that some very powerful mage children showed outward signs of their power, but he had never seen one with such characteristics himself. Seth snapped out of his mental musings when he realized that Duncan was speaking to him.

"Good morning Seth, I just came down to see what you had on the menu for breakfast today", he heard Duncan say with a smile, though Seth could see that it didn't reach his eyes. "Ah, your in luck my friend, we just restocked our larder a few days ago, so we have a wide selection at present. We have porridge, bacon, eggs, fruit, a nice selection of fine cheeses, even steak if you prefer. What would you like?"

Duncan thought for a few moments before he answered, "I think a bowl of porridge with honey and apples, six fried eggs and a pound of bacon sound good, a tray of cheeses, and some bread. I would also like some summer mead and a couple of large skins of goats milk for the little one here, her appetite seems to be just as ravenous as mine."

They both laughed at that statement. Seth was not surprised by the amount of food that Duncan asked for, as he had dealt with wardens a few times since they had reentered Ferelden, and knew all about their ravenous appetites. "Please have it brought up to my room when it is ready", Duncan said as he handed Seth a handful of silvers to pay for their meals.

"Forgive me M'lord for asking…", Seth said in a rush as Duncan turned to leave, "But may I see her? I mean no offense, it's just that … well….I've never seen anyone quite like her before." Duncan turned back to the bar, trying to hide his annoyance, though he supposed he could understand the man's curiosity. Shadow did tend to draw people to her with her unusual looks. Seth put his arms out over the bar, signaling that he would like to hold her. Duncan could tell that the man was merely curious and didn't mean any harm, so he reluctantly handed her to him. Though he kept a close eye on him all the same, just in case.

Seth was in awe, "I have never seen eyes like hers, they are a bit startling at first but also so beautiful, in an ethereal way." "May I?", Seth asked as he pointed to her tiny hat, "Elaina told me what beautiful hair she has and I just wanted to see it for myself." "Only for a moment, I do not want her head to get cold", Duncan said as he nodded his head at Seth. Seth's eyes grew wide in amazement as he removed her tiny hat. "Elaina was right", he breathed, "It is unusual but also so beautiful, like the night sky." Seth smiled at Shadow as he placed her little hat back on her head and handed her back to Duncan.

"That's probably why her father named her ShadowMoon, instead of some traditional Ferelden name", Duncan said, almost as an afterthought. Seth looked at Duncan, a smile still on his face and said with amazement, "She looks like an ethereal goddess, she'll probably have suitors lining up around the square just to see her." Duncan's face contorted painfully and he felt a terrible tightness grip his heart, but he recovered quickly. He could not let people see him like this, he had to remain strong. He looked at the innkeeper as he said sadly, trying to speak through the tightness in his chest, "She is a mage, I am taking her to the tower tonight."

"_**Maker's flaming balls**_!", Seth thought, "_I've gone and stuck my foot in it this time_." Seth knew that mages were not allowed to marry or have families, and that even a physical relationship was technically not allowed, though it still happened sometimes. He was kicking himself now for saying something so utterly insensitive. And the pained look on Duncan's face made Seth feel even worse. It looked like Duncan was on the verge of tears when he heard him say quickly as he fled back up stairs, "Please have breakfast brought up when it's ready."

Duncan hurried back upstairs to his room, he did not want anyone to see the tears that had started to form in his eyes. Once he reached the safety of his room, the dam on Duncan's emotions broke and he fell to his knees and silently cried, hugging Shadow close to his chest. He cried for all that the Circle would take from her and deny her. He cried for the life that she deserved but would never have. He cried for all the things she would miss out on being trapped in that Maker forsaken place. After a few minutes, Duncan regained his control, and taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, repeated the mantra that had become so familiar. "I have a duty to fulfill, I must remain strong, no matter what the cost to myself." Duncan repeated the mantra several times, until he finally pulled himself together.

He spent the rest of the day playing with Shadow and eating his meals, though his appetite wasn't what it should have been. By dinner he was picking at his food, and couldn't bring himself to eat anything, even though his stomach protested adamantly. "_Soon I will have to take Shadow to the tower, I won't be able to delay much longer, the rain is slowing down and soon we will be able to cross the lake_", Duncan thought as he pushed his dinner plate away.

The rain finally stopped about an hour after dinner and Duncan realized that his time had run out, he would need to start preparing to leave soon, and the thought sat like stones in his heart. Shadow must have felt his distress because she was becoming increasingly fussy over the course of the day as well and wasn't eating as much as she normally would either.

Shadow began to cry in earnest when Duncan started to repack their belongings and Duncan noticed her hands starting to glow red. "Andraste's Flaming Sword!", Duncan spat, "how could I have forgotten to redraw the rune on her belly after our bath last night!" The memory of their time in the bath brought a smile to his face, if only for a moment. "_How could I be so careless as to forget something that important_? _Have I lost all sense in my head_", Duncan mentally berated himself, as he quickly searched his pack for the vial of ink and parchment with the instructions that Wynne had given him when he left Highever.

Quickly but carefully he picked her up out of her makeshift cradle and laid her down on his bed. He hurriedly removed her shirt and unrolled the parchment next to her, and then uncorked the vial of ink. Duncan took a quill pen and blunted the end of it a little so that he wouldn't scratch her belly as he drew the rune. It was difficult to draw the rune with Shadow kicking and fussing but somehow he managed it. The glowing in Shadow's hands dissipated, but did not go away completely.

Wynne spoke the truth when she had said that if the rune was drawn by someone who was not a mage that it wouldn't be as strong. Duncan didn't care so long as it kept her power in check, so long as it kept his daughter safe. "_His daughter_", the words seemed strange to Duncan but they felt so right. "_She is as much my daughter as she is theirs_", Duncan thought. "_Even more so in a way since I am the one responsible for her. I'm the one who will see that she is raised properly, see that she is properly trained in the use of her magic_."

Duncan was envious of his friends for being able to have a family, something that he had always wanted but knew he could never have. And then a thought occurred to him, "_Bryce knew of my want for a child of my own … is that why he made me her godfather? For surely their were other people more suitable than a Grey Warden_."

It's the only thing that made sense to Duncan as to why Bryce would name him as her godfather. Bryce was giving me the chance to be a father, to have a family of my own, even if she wasn't of my blood. It was as close as I could possibly hope to having a family of my own. In that realization, Duncan felt a new kinship and love for the Couslands. Despite their own grief and suffering, they had given him the most precious of gifts …. a family of his own. A tear slide down his cheek as he thought of the sacrifice the Couslands had made, one that he would be forever grateful for, and vowed to spend the rest of his life trying to repay.

He stood then, wiping the tear away with the back of his hand and continued his packing. Shadow was still crying so Duncan picked her up and tried to soothe her with his words, but to no avail. Then he remembered the sling, so he stopped what he was doing and donned his armor and weapons, then retrieved the sling from the table where he had left it. He laid the sling out on the bed and placed shadow in it, but then realized he had a problem, the straps for the sling tied in the back and he couldn't reach them by himself.

"_Damnation_!", Duncan thought. He thought for a moment more and decided to go ask Elaina to help him with it, so he picked up Shadow sling and all, and was about to go seek her out when there came a knock on the door. "Come in", Duncan said and Elaina appeared in the doorway carrying the laundry that Duncan had asked her to do this morning.

"Forgive the intrusion M'lord, but I have the laundry finished and ready to be repacked. Where would you like it?", Elaina asked. "Over next to the bed would be fine", Duncan replied. "Elaina could I trouble you to help me with the straps on the baby's sling, I cannot reach them by myself?", Duncan asked as he turned his back to her. "Certainly M'lord, it would be my pleasure", Elaina said with a smile. Duncan situated Shadow on his chest where he wanted her, as Elaina gathered and pulled the straps tight, before tying them. "Thank you Elaina, your aid is most appreciated", Duncan said solemnly. Shadow was still crying inconsolably as all this was going on.

"Forgive my boldness M'lord, but may I suggest something?", Elaina asked tentatively as she gestured at Shadow. Duncan nodded for her to continue. "When I was a wee babe, my mother used to sing me a lullaby whenever I was fussy, and it always seemed to soothe me." Duncan gave her a small smile, as a slight blush colored his cheeks and he shook his head slowly. "I have no tongue for songs", Duncan said, a little embarrassed by the admission.

"If it pleases you M'lord, I could sing to her while you packed", Elaina said rather fervently. Duncan put up his hand, "I would not want to trouble you, I'm sure you have other duties…" "It would be no trouble M'lord", Elaina said quickly, cutting him off. "I do not have any pressing duties to attend to at this moment, and I truly love to sing. I would be happy to sing for her if you would permit me." Elaina gave Duncan a pleading look. "Very well, if you think it will help", Duncan said acquiescing. Duncan walked over and picked up his pack from the nearby table and placed it on the bed as he began repacking it. Elaina began to sing a lullaby.

Haren na melana sahlin

Emma ir abelas

Souver'inan isala hamin

Vhenan him dor'felas

In uthenera na revas

Vir sulahn'nehn

Vir dithera

Vir samahl la numin

Vir lath sa'vunin

Duncan stopped what he was doing when he heard Elaina singing. He turned and looked at her in awe, she had an amazing voice. It was light and lilting and full of emotion. He had to admit, the song was very soothing and soon Shadow had settled down and was fast asleep. Elaina stopped singing when she saw that the babe had fallen asleep. She was about to excuse herself when Duncan asked, "Could I trouble you to sing that song until I have finished packing, it is very soothing as you said and I could use a bit of comfort at the moment", his voice straining with the emotions that he was battling to keep in check.

Elaina could see the pain in his eyes, even though he was trying hard to hide it. "Certainly M'lord, it would be my pleasure to lighten your burden, if only for a little while", Elaina replied with a sympathetic smile. "Thank you Elaina, for …for everything", Duncan said through barely concealed tears, his voice cracking under the strain. Elaina continued to sing for Duncan until he had finished packing and was ready to go. Duncan took Elaina's hand in his and brought it up to his lips, brushing a gentle kiss against her fingers as he said, "Thank you again for everything you have done for us", Duncan said as he turned her hand over and placed a gold sovereign into her palm, "For your service."

"M'lord! I cannot accept this…..it's…it's to much!", Elaina stammered, but Duncan cut her off. "Nonsense, you have done all I have asked of you and more….hearing you sing alone is well worth the sovereign. You gave me, a stranger, a measure of comfort when I needed it most….I'd say you've earned that and more", Duncan said sincerely. Elaina blushed awkwardly at the compliment, "Thank you M'lord, you are very generous." "Forgive me but I must attend to my other duties ….", Elaina said nervously.

"Yes, of course, thank you again for your kindness", Duncan said again as she left. After she had gone Duncan walked back over to the bed and shouldered his pack, letting out a great heaving sigh as he did so. "Well little one it's time to take you to your new home", Duncan whispered to the still sleeping Shadow, "but do not fret, I will visit you as often as I am able." With that Duncan squared his shoulders, held his head high, and steeled himself for what he knew was going to be the hardest thing he has ever had to do in his short life, and headed out of the inn.

The ride from the docks to the tower across the lake was long, but quiet and peaceful. The lake was so still that it looked like a giant looking glass with the full summer moon reflecting off it. The Circle Tower in the distance looked ominous and foreboding, it gave Duncan a very eerie chill up his spine and set his teeth on edge. Nope Duncan didn't like the place at all. The combined scent of the mist from the lake and Shadows own scent of roses and rain helped to soothe Duncan's nerves somewhat. The whole ride over Duncan was trying hard to steel his resolve, and praying to the Maker and Andraste to give him the strength to do what he had to.

After what seemed like hours crossing the lake, they finally docked at the Circle Tower. Thankfully Shadow slept peacefully the whole way over. "_The ferryman, Kester I think he said his name was, did not say much on the trip over, Maker bless him_", Duncan thought as he disembarked and headed up the long stairway to the towers main doors.

Duncan stopped several times on his march up that long stairway, his love for his newfound daughter warring with his sense of duty and honor. "_I made a promise to Bryce and Eleanor_", Duncan kept reminding himself. When he finally reached the massive doors of the tower he almost turned right back around, but duty won out in the end. And so with a great heaving sigh that nearly turned into another round of tears, Duncan took hold of the door knocker and knocked on the great doors.

Four curious templars greeted him as they swung the massive doors open. Greetings Ser, I am Knight-Captain Fredrick, whom may I ask are you and what business do you have with the Circle?", the templar asked as he eyed the bulge under Duncan's cloak suspiciously. "I am Duncan, Commander of the Ferelden Grey Wardens and I need to speak to the Knight-Commander and First Enchanter immediately", Duncan said quickly, the thread of his resolve growing thinner with each breath he took.

"The hour is very late Grey Warden, I'm afraid that both Greagoir and Irving have retired for the evening….if you would like…." "**THEN WAKE THEM**!", Duncan yelled furiously, so loudly that it startled poor Shadow and echoed throughout the Great Hall. The templars at the doors all flinched and stepped back, as if Duncan had struck them all.

Duncan closed his eyes, mentally cursing for losing his composure like that in front of them, and took a deep trembling breath. Duncan patted his chest to try and keep Shadow calm, which made the Knight-Captain look at him curiously. When he opened them again, he had regained his composure, "My apologies gentlemen, please forgive my outburst, it….", Duncan sighed heavily before continuing, "has been a long and arduous journey", he stated repentantly. "I would not disturb them but it is of vital importance that this be addressed without delay", Duncan stated as he unwrapped Shadow from his cloak.

"Maker's Breath!", exclaimed the templar nearest Duncan as he saw Shadow's eyes for the first time, "Is she an abomination?" "Stow it Henrick, your being rude!", Fredrick admonished the templar, "You know as well as I do that babes cannot be possessed." Duncan looked at Fredrick with an arched brow and thought, "_Hmm interesting, I didn't know that, I thought anyone who actively showed signs of magic were susceptible_", but now was not the time for such discussions. "As you can see gentlemen", Duncan said calmly, ignoring the templars rude comment, "this is not a matter that can wait till morning."

"Yes…I see…", mused Fredrick. "Henrick!, take the Commander to the First Enchanter's study, I will summon Greagoir and Irving and have them meet you there." "Please follow me Warden", Henrick grumbled, obviously angry for being put in his place in front of a stranger. Duncan followed Henrick through the tower, taking notice of the communal rooms of the apprentices. Though they were clean , they did not afford any privacy. He also noticed that they placed women and men in the same quarters, which raised a question to Duncan's mind, to which he asked his guide.

"You house men and women in the same quarters?", Duncan asked, curious as to what the answer would be. "Ya, what of it?", Henrick shot back rather smartly. "Yet they are forbidden from marrying, having children or even the most basic of relationships?", Duncan asked, trying to hide the incredulity in his voice. "They are mages, they have no need of such things", Henrick replied curtly. "But they are people like any other, surely you would not deny them companionship or a family?" Duncan was growing more agitated with each passing second. "Mages are not people, ser, they are beasts who wield magic, they must be caged and controlled lest they doom us all", Henrick spat. Duncan bristled, but quickly recovered, "_How cruel_", Duncan thought. Duncan hoped that this bastard's view of mages was not what all templars thought of mages.

Duncan was liking this templar less and less as they continued to walk the corridors of the tower. Henrick viewed mages as nothing more than cattle to be corralled and controlled. He didn't seem to think of mages as even people, didn't deserve to have the most basic of human needs, the need for love or companionship. Duncan made a mental note to speak to Irving about this.

Duncan was startled out of his thoughts by the templar standing guard at the stairway leading to the second floor of the tower. The templar held up his hand, stopping them, "I am templar Tian, state your business." "I am taking Duncan of the Grey Wardens and this _**mage**_", Henrick stuck his thumb out to the side to indicate Shadow, "to see Irving and Greagoir." He sounded rather bored but Duncan noted the disdain and loathing in the man's voice when he said the word mage. The more time he spent here the less he liked it, and the more he wanted to just turn around and say damn the Maker and his promise and take Shadow to the Wardens. But then he thought of his dear friends Bryce and Eleanor and the trust they had placed in him, and knew he could not break his promise no matter how much he wished to.

The second floor was even colder than the first, Duncan noticed as he wrapped his cloak around Shadow to help keep them both warm. As they crested the top of the stairs Duncan stopped and took a moment to scan his new surroundings. The main room was a larger circular chamber, used mainly for storage Duncan guessed, by the number of boxes, parcels and vials that were stacked in the two antechambers on either side of the main room. There were two archways, one at either end of the main hall, that lead to the rest of the floor. Though the one at the far end looked like it was under construction.

"Blasted mages and their magic!", Henrick ranted. "They're always damaging something with there bloody spells!" "If you ask me they should all be made tranquil, and be done with it!", Henrick raged. "It looks like we'll have to take the long way 'round to Irving's study", Henrick complained as he turned and headed for the other archway. Duncan followed silently behind the templar, but kept one arm wrapped protectively around Shadow and the other resting on the hilt of the dar'misu at his waist.

As they walked the corridor Duncan noted that the quarters on the second floor were smaller and only held 3-4 mages per room, and at least had walls to separate the beds, offering at least some privacy. But something was bothering Duncan, there weren't nearly enough rooms here to house the number of apprentices that Duncan had seen on the first floor. So Duncan posed the question to his guide. The answer that he received made his blood run cold.

"These are the quarters for those mages who have passed their final test, the Harrowing. Very few mages are strong enough to survive the Harrowing", Henrick said uncaringly, as if Duncan had asked him about the weather. Duncan's heart constricted so painfully that he was in tears, as he pulled Shadow close to him. "_Maker if anything every happened to Shadow…_", no Duncan didn't want to finish that thought. Instead he covered his tears with a coughing fit until he had himself under control again.

Finally they reached Irving's study and Henrick showed Duncan inside. "Wait here, Irving and Greagoir will be here shortly", he said tersely, and then he left the way he had come. Now that he was alone, Duncan let out a great heaving sigh, one of both relief and anguish. Duncan didn't know how much more of that fool templar, Henrick, he could stand before he slipped his dagger between the man's ribs.

Duncan set these thoughts aside as he took in his new surroundings. Irving's desk stood in the middle of the room, piled high with books, scrolls and other miscellaneous items. Bookcases lined the walls, stuffed to the point of overflow, with hundreds of books of all sorts. Two long tables with bench seats sat in front of the bookcases along the right-hand side of the room.

The tables were littered with books as well, and it was obvious to Duncan that at least Irving took his responsibilities to the mages' education seriously. He could just picture Irving mentoring several apprentices as they poured over their studies in this office. Duncan had the brief pleasure of meeting with Irving when the Wardens first came back to Ferelden, he remembered, the man seemed dedicated to the mages and their well-being. "_At least someone here is_", Duncan thought grimly.

Duncan walked over to one of the long tables and sank down onto the bench, suddenly feeling very old and tired, the gravity of this whole situation weighing heavily on him. He hugged Shadow close, breathing in her unique scent. She smelled like roses in a thunderstorm, and the scent always seemed to calm Duncan's nerves. "_Maker give me the strength to get through this_", Duncan mentally pleaded, as he rocked Shadow back and forth. Though he was not sure if he was rocking to keep Shadow calm or himself. So wrapped up in his thoughts was he, that Duncan did not notice that Irving and Greagoir had arrived.

"Greetings, Duncan of the Grey Wardens", Irving said warmly, as he and Greagoir entered the room. Duncan looked up, startled that he had not heard them come in. "Please, accept my apologies Duncan, we did not mean to startle you", Irving continued in that same warm tone, it made Duncan more at ease. It took a few moments for Duncan to collect his thoughts to respond.

"My apologies for the lateness of the hour Irving, but this matter could not wait", Duncan stated as he unwrapped Shadow from his cloak and turned the sling enough so that the two men could get a good look at her. "Maker's Breath", Greagoir breathed as she turned her glowing eyes to him. Irving did not say anything, he just looked at her with a sad sort of kindness, like he understood what her life would be like and felt sorry for her. It comforted Duncan in a strange way, to know that Irving understood.

Greagoir, however, was all business as he asked, "Is she a mage child of one of the Grey Warden's? Is that why a Grey Warden would be bringing her here to the Circle?" Duncan to a deep breath to steady himself. "_This is going to be a long night_", he thought morosely, before diving into the story of Shadow's birth, who her parents are, and the secret that must be kept. It was well into the night before he had finally finished his tale, and everyone was exhausted.

Irving offered to let Duncan stay and rest for the night, and that they could continue this discussion tomorrow at a more convenient hour. Duncan thanked them for their hospitality as he stood and was about to head to his room when Greagoir summoned a templar, who made to take Shadow from him.

Duncan's newly awakened fatherly instincts took hold and he drew his dagger and back away from the templar, holding Shadow protectively to him. The next thing Duncan knew he was surrounded in an energy field. Shadow, Duncan realized, must have felt his distress and reacted on pure instinct to protect them both, despite the rune ward on her belly that held her power in check. Duncan was shocked into silence as he fully realized the power that she commanded, even at such a tender age.

"Andraste's Flaming Sword!", the young templar exclaimed as he took several steps back and looked on in awe and fear. Greagoir had drawn his sword and was looking at Duncan with hardened certainty. "_If I try to leave with her, he will try to kill us both_", Duncan thought gravely. Irving acted quickly to salvage the situation before it got out of hand and became violent.

"Please, everyone calm down, Duncan why don't you stay here at the tower for a few days until proper arrangements can be made for someone to care for the child. Until then she can stay with you, does that sound reasonable?", Irving asked as calmly as he could, his voice held a note of restrained apprehension. The tension in the room was a palatable thing, and Irving worried that if he did not get hold of the situation that it would turn ugly very quickly. "It will take several days at least to gather the necessary items that she will need, as we are not equipped to care for a mage child of such a young age", Irving continued, "your aid in that regard would be most welcome, as you know her best."

Duncan visibly relaxed, and as he did so, the energy shield that was surrounding him also came down. "Absolutely amazing!", Irving said just above a whisper as he looked at Shadow with astonished admiration. "I am just as amazed as you are First Enchanter", Duncan said as he shook his head, "seeing how there is a rune ward drawn on her belly to keep her power in check." "She did _that_ with a rune ward in place?", Irving asked skeptically. Duncan nodded as he asked Irving to help him with the straps to the sling.

"Maker's Breath", Irving breathed out as Duncan showed the First Enchanter her belly. "You weren't lying", and then added, "She must be powerful indeed to overcome such a ward." Duncan looked at Greagoir, who had been silent up to this point, he didn't like the look that he was giving Shadow; like she was some kind of dangerous predator. He looked as if he were poised to attack at any given moment. It set warning bells off in Duncan's head, and a very real chill crept up his spine.

Irving could sense that the tension had not dissipated as much as he had hoped and thought that maybe some light humor might help lighten the mood. "Well gentlemen, I for one, need to get some sleep as these old bones will be creaking horribly in the morning as it is", Irving lightly chuckled. Duncan smiled at Irving's self-deprecation, and was thankful for it as Greagoir seemed to relax a bit as well. They all said their goodnights as they headed back to their rooms. "_Hopefully tomorrow will go a bit smoother_", Duncan mused as he headed to his room with Shadow.


	4. A Father's Love

_**Bioware owns everything but what I made up!**_

_All Right the long awaited chapter 4 is finally here! I beg your forgiveness for how long it took me to get it written, between battling my illness and a serious case of writers block, it was a struggle getting this written. But its finally here, so I hope you all enjoy!_

_I want to give a special shout out to __**Erynnar **__who is a talented writer and the one who inspired me to write a fanfic of my own. You should really check out her works, __**The First Cut Is Always The Deepest**__,__** Soulmates**__ (which is the sequel to The First Cut), __**and Whispering Sighs of the Blade**__ (which was written to add depth to the story, The First Cut Is Always The Deepest)._

_As always I want to thank all those who put me on favorites and alerts, you know who you are. You all are the reason I write, my inspiration. _

_There are also some talented writers out there that I have had the pleasure of reading their stories, and wanted to give them a shout out, so that you can enjoy them as well. __**Zeeji (Seeing Clearly, **__and__** Seeing Beyond), Pinoko K (The Rose Of Highever & The Rose and the Prince), Peddy poo (Highevers Lamented), Lady Cailan (A Child of the Dalish, **__and __**For A Moment), RewindedMiracle (When Two Are One), Jaden Anderson (Awake and Dreaming), (Feasting on Dreams: Volume One) by analect, and last but certainly not least Elysium-fic (Elysium). **_

_**Well I better wrap this up or I wont have room for the story lol!**_

_**Goddess Bless and Hope you enjoy!**_

Do not dwell in the past,

Do not dream of the future,

Concentrate the mind on the present moment.

~~Buddha~~

Only once the door to his room was closed tightly behind him did Duncan allow himself to relax. He still couldn't fathom what Greagoir was trying to do with that stunt back in Irving's office, but his instincts told him that whatever it was, it was not good. Duncan also knew that Greagoir wouldn't give up so easily, for he had seen something in the man's eyes that greatly disturbed him. In that moment when Greagoir summoned the younger templar to take Shadow, Duncan saw what the others had not, something almost menacing lurked behind the Knight-Commander's eyes. It immediately put him on the defensive, and had Shadow not done what she had, he would either be fighting his way out of the tower, or they would both be dead right now.

The whole thing seemed unreal to Duncan. How could a child so young perform such a feat of magic, when she could not even speak? Add to that the fact that she had an anti-magic rune inscribed on her belly … its just seemed so unbelievable. Had he not seen it with his own eyes he would not have believed it. It was beyond his comprehension.

Duncan sat down on the bed in his room, and looked at his daughter. "Your father was right little one, you will be a most formidable mage", Duncan said with pride.

Now that the situation had been abated somewhat, Duncan tried hard to put the whole thing out of his mind, hoping that tomorrow Greagoir would more biddable after he had gotten a decent nights rest. And on that note Duncan readied them both for bed, though sleep did not come easily.

Duncan awoke sometime in the night, sweating and visibly shaking, with an uneasy feeling building in the pit of his stomach. "_Something is very wrong here_", Duncan thought gravely as he sat up in bed trying to hold onto the dream that had disturbed him so greatly. Every instinct was telling him that this dream was not just a dream and that there was a sense of urgency that demanded he take action quickly, or all would be lost. If growing up alone on the streets of Val Royeaux had taught him anything, it was to always trust his instincts. Duncan closed his eyes, and concentrated on the dream, trying to make sense of it.

_He was standing on a rolling hillside overlooking Highever Castle. But it wasn't like any Highever he had ever seen before. The world seemed thin, like jam spread across too much bread. The sun that shone down on him was black as night, against a muted, undulating sky. The wind was blowing and whipping around him, and he felt something cold brush the back of his neck that made his hair stand on end. Then he heard it, a soft, melodic voice. It was barely above a whisper and Duncan had to strain hard to hear it above the roar of the wind. "Save her, you must save her", the voice kept repeating. "Save Who?", Duncan questioned, shouting against the wind. But the voice gave no reply that he could hear, and as quickly as the dream had come, it was gone leaving Duncan feeling lost and unsure of what to do._

Duncan wasn't sure what to make of it, but it left a dire sense of foreboding that Duncan didn't like. "_Who am I supposed to save?_ _Blast and damn it! Why are dreams always so Maker forsaken vague?_", Duncan seethed in his head, as he looked at the ceiling of his room. "A little help here would be appreciated", Duncan said out loud, still staring at the ceiling. Getting no response, not that he had expected the Maker to actually answer him, he begrudgingly climbed out of bed to get ready for the long day ahead.

A knock sounded at the door as Duncan was getting Shadow ready for the day. "Enter", Duncan replied to the knock as he returned to dressing Shadow. A young apprentice mage entered, introducing himself as Jordan, and stating enthusiastically that he was assigned to see to Duncan's needs while he was here.

The boy took one look at Shadow and just gaped in astonishment. It took him a minute to realize he was being rude, and collect himself. He then asked if there was anything that Duncan needed, and Duncan resisted the urge to roll his eyes, noting the hero worship that the lad displayed openly on his face. "Would you be so kind as to ask Senior Enchanter Wynne to join me for a meeting in the First Enchanter's office this morning please?"

"Certainly Warden", the boy replied, nodding his head excitedly, with a wide grin plastered on his face. "Is there anything else that you need?", Jordan inquired before he went to go do what Duncan had requested.

"Not at the moment thank you", Duncan replied with a smile. He had to admire the boy's enthusiasm. Jordan smiled at Duncan again before saying, "Let me know if you need anything", and then left to go find Wynne.

Wynne, as it turns out, was already heading to Irving's office this morning. She wanted to discuss her concerns about what the Knight-Commander had attempted to do last night. Though she was not present last night, she had heard what happened from the young templar that Greagoir summoned to take the child from Duncan. She wasn't sure if Duncan had realized the extent of what Greagoir had tried to do, but she wasn't about to sit around and let it happen. She may be loyal to the Circle and the Chantry, but Shadow was an innocent infant. She was just reaching the library on the second floor when Jordan ran up to her saying that Duncan wished for her to join him in Irving's study.

"Has Duncan left for the meeting with Irving yet?", Wynne inquired.

"No ma'am, he was still in his room just a moment ago", Jordan replied, the grin still firmly in place on his face.

Wynne smiled warmly at the boy as she said, "Thank you my boy, you may return to your duties."

As Wynne trekked the short distance from the library to where Duncan was staying, she spotted Duncan as he was emerging from his room with Shadow. She noted how tired and rundown he looked, he must not have had a very restful sleep she surmised as she let a rejuvenation spell roll off her tongue.

Duncan immediately stiffened as he felt the magic hit him, but relaxed when he realized that the warmth and energy spreading through him was a rejuvenation spell. He looked around to see who the kind soul was that had cast it and saw Wynne standing a few feet away from him wearing a sympathetic smile. "You are too kind", Duncan thanked her as she walked up to him.

"Nonsense Warden, you looked like you were about ready to drop were you stood", Wynne chuckled lightly as they started the long walk around the tower to Irving's study.

"Bad dreams", Duncan muttered, so softly that Wynne was barely able to hear him, as they continued their stroll down the long hallway. Wynne nodded knowingly, but did not press him for any details. She was pretty sure it had something to do with the incident last night, which reminded her that she needed to talk to him about that before they talked to Irving.

Wynne gently touched Duncan's arm to stop his forward motion. "Warden, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Duncan, please just call me Duncan" , he said giving Wynne a small smile. "What is it you wish to discuss?", Duncan questioned gently. He knew Wynne well enough from the time they both spent at the Cousland Castle to know that she wouldn't keep him from his meeting with Irving if it were not important.

"Duncan, I wanted to ask you if you were fully aware of what Knight-Commander Greagoir had attempted to do last night", Wynne asked as gently as she could.

"What do you mean?" Duncan questioned, as that eerie chill crept up the back of his neck again.

"When Greagoir made to take Shadow from you last night, he meant to put her through the Right of Tranquility".

"WHAT!", Duncan shouted, startling poor Shadow who was in his arms, before quickly reigning in his anger. "But she is just a babe, how could he even think to do that to an innocent child?", he quietly fumed. He started to pace, running his free hand nervously through his hair.

"I do not know Duncan, but we must speak to the First Enchanter before Greagoir tries again". Wynne was just as angry as Duncan was at what the Knight-Commander had tried to do. No, she was even more angry than Duncan was, this whole situation hit just a little too close to home and Wynne had to stop herself from dredging up those painful memories.

Duncan stopped his pacing and swept his arm out in front of Wynne, indicating that they should continue on their way to Irving's office, "If that is indeed Greagoir's intention, then we must speak to Irving immediately", Duncan stated resolutely as he quickened his pace. "I will not allow him to harm my daughter!".

Wynne's eyes took on a far away, pained expression. "Neither will I", Wynne said firmly. Then added so softly under her breath that Duncan did not hear her, "Never again".

As they approached Irving's office they heard raised voices within, and stopped just outside the door to see who it was before interrupting them. As it turned out Greagoir was the one arguing with the First Enchanter.

oooooooOOOOOOooooooo

"See reason Greagoir", Irving pleaded, "She is an innocent child, and far too young for a demon to possess, your fears are baseless."

"You yourself have seen the power _that_ _infant _commands!", Greagoir barked back, "You cannot tell me that she is harmless! Even **if** her magic could somehow be contained until she could learn to use it, she would still be to powerful to be allowed to become a mage, and run the risk of her succumbing to the influence of a demon. She would be near unstoppable should she become possessed. I will not risk the safety of Ferelden's people for one mage child!"

"The Chantry would never sanction you using The Rite on an innocent babe Greagoir!", Irving yelled back, finally loosing the battle with his temper. "The people may fear mages, but even they would not stand for this", Irving stated more calmly, trying to get control of his flaring temper.

Greagoir however would not be deterred. "I am willing to risk the people's wrath if it means keeping them safe from the threat _that mage_ poses", Greagoir continued as he pointed to the door. He had seen them stop at the doorway.

Wynne was livid, which was very much unlike her. She stormed into Irving's office, pointing a finger at Greagoir, "You know as well as I do Greagoir, that making an infant Tranquil is a death sentence! I will not sit idly by and watch you do this to _another_ innocent child!"

Duncan did not frighten easily but at that moment, hearing Wynne speak those words, Duncan knew true fear - fear not for himself, but for his daughter. "Wha .. What do you mean a death sentence?", Duncan asked, his voice cracking as he tried hard not to let his fear get the better of him. "_And what did she mean another innocent child_?", Duncan thought silently as he stared at Wynne. Duncan had not missed that, but didn't have time to contemplate it further.

Wynne turned to Duncan, her previously angry expression vanishing as she saw the fear that gripped him. She walked over and put her hand on his arm, while she stroked Shadow's hair with the other, cooing at her softly. After a moment she turned back to Greagoir, and with a look that mirrored the anger she felt, she continued, "Unlike adults, who can live without their emotions, for a child emotions are essential, especially babies. Without their emotional responses, their instincts, they would stop eating, stop crying to let someone know that something was wrong with them. They would slowly wither away until they died". Wynne was boring holes into Greagoir with her eyes as she relayed this information.

Greagoir was silent while she was explaining all this, something grimly determined, but sad in the way he looked at Shadow. The only thing he said was, "As the Maker wills". He turned his back on them then, walking further into Irving's office, rubbing both his hands up and down his face.

"_Maker, I feel old", _Greagoir thought glumly_. "None of them understood the risk of letting her live, none of them understood how much it was killing him to do this, but it was a risk he was not willing to take_ - _I must remain vigilant_", he thought with grave determination.

They were all stunned into silence by his callous and unfeeling response.

Greagoir turned back around to address them once again. "You may think me cruel, but I believe it is what is best", Greagoir whispered very softly, as if trying to not break the illusion of calm that fell over the room.

Now it was Duncan's turn to be livid. Duncan stood in the doorway as he roared, "Best for whom Greagoir, best for her - he looked down at Shadow as he said that, best for the people of Ferelden, or best for _**you**_!", pointing an accusatory finger at the templar.

Duncan had seen what the others had not, he saw the haunted, terrified look in Greagoir's eyes that Duncan knew all too well. He had seen it many times in the eyes of people who had survived darkspawn attacks, the worst ones were of those who had lost children. Something in Greagoir's past haunted him, and it had to do with mages. All the signs were there - the being unreasonable, the baseless fear, and the hell-bent determination to not be stopped. The fear Duncan saw in Greagoir's eyes was all the confirmation he needed.

What Greagoir said next just solidified Duncan's assumptions. "How dare you, I am sworn to protect the people of Ferelden from the threat that mages pose! I have seen the horrors that mages can inflict upon the world with their magic! "

Duncan narrowed his eyes as he stared Greagoir down. "And yet are you not also sworn to _**protect the mages**__?", _Duncan countered coolly.

"My first duty is to the people of this country, no matter how unpleasant that duty may be, I will do as the Maker commands!", Greagoir snarled, pulling himself up to his full height and lifting his chin in the air, trying to regain some small amount of dignity.

"The Maker!", Duncan let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a scoff, "You claim to know the mind of the Maker!", Duncan shouted.

"It is by divine right that we watch the mages, to ensure they are not corrupted", Greagoir whined.

"No! Not by divine right! The Maker gave you no such authority! It is the Chantry alone that trained you and set you on this path, **not** the Maker!", Duncan shot back.

"The Chantry only follows the Maker's will!", Greagoir tried to say.

"The Chantry follows the Chant of Light set forth by Andraste", Duncan stated, and then recited passages from Transfigurations.

_Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him. _

_Foul and corrupt are they_

_Who have taken His gift_

_And turned it against His children_

_They shall be named Maleficar, accursed ones _

_they shall find no rest in this world_

_Or beyond _

_All men are the Work of our Maker's Hands,_

_From the lowest slaves_

_To the highest king_

_Those who bring harm_

_Without provocation to the least of His children_

_Are hated and accursed by the Maker. _

_Those who bear false witness_

_And work to deceive others, know this:_

_There is but one Truth _

_All things are known to our Maker_

_And He shall judge their lies._

Once Duncan had finished his recitation he asked heatedly, "Tell me where in that does it say to condemn an innocent babe to death?" Greagoir made to say something else, but the look that Duncan shot him made him think twice.

"You Greagoir, are paranoid beyond reason. Were you always like that or is that the lyrium addiction talking?", Duncan prodded. He knew he shouldn't provoke the templar, but he was so pissed off right now he didn't care. "_Maybe if I provoke Greagoir enough I can get him to see how foolish and unreasonable he is being_", Duncan thought to himself.

"Tell me Greagoir", Duncan demanded as he gave the templar a questioning look, "Who watches the templars? Who protects the mages from a paranoid, demented templar, hell-bent on seeing a maleficar where one does not exist!"

"I will not falter, that child is a danger to herself and to everyone around her, I will not risk …", Greagoir started to rant.

Duncan closed his eyes, trying hard to figure out how he could save his daughter from this demented templar without killing him. The only answer he could come up with did not make him happy, it would be a difficult and hard life, but at least she would live. So with a heavy heart Duncan reached a decision. "You leave me no choice then Greagoir, but to take the decision out of your hands, and may Bryce and Eleanor forgive me", Duncan stated forlornly.

"And just what is that supposed to mean Warden", Greagoir questioned skeptically.

"It means as Commander of the Grey of Ferelden, I hereby recruit this child into the Grey Wardens. She will live and be taught here at the Circle, but once she has passed her Harrowing, she will join me among the Wardens."

"You can't do that! I won't allow it!", Greagoir whined.

"Yes I can", Duncan said with a slightly self-satisfied expression on his face. "And if you push the issue Greagoir, I will invoke the Right of Conscription. She is my goddaughter, Bryce entrusted me to raise her as I see fit - and as Andraste is my witness, I will not let you condemn her just for being what she is!", Duncan yelled vehemently.

"S .. Sh … She is too young to be conscripted", Greagoir sputtered in a last ditch effort to deter him.

"She will be labeled a recruit, until such time as she passes her Harrowing, and can take her Joining. Which means Greagoir , that while she will be living here among the mages, she is from this day forward, a Grey Warden. And as such, her fate will be decided by the Wardens - not by you, not the Circle or the blasted Chantry! And if you should try to force the Rite upon her after I have left, you will feel the wrath of the Grey Wardens, _**for we protect our own**_", Duncan warned him, the promise of a horribly agonizing death dripping from every word. "So you see, Greagoir, the decision is no longer yours to make."

"I will not stand for this!", Greagoir ranted, trying desperately to think of something - some loophole that would keep Duncan from conscripting the child.

Irving, who had been silent up to this point, put his hand on Greagoir's arm and said in a soothing tone, "Enough my friend, the decision is out of our hands, be content in the knowledge that she will remain here in the circle where she can be taught to use her magic wisely, for the benefit of the people. Here she can learn to respect her powers."

Greagoir was still fuming but finally acquiesced, "Fine, so be it", he huffed as he threw his hands up into the air in frustration - as he was unable to think of anything that would deter Duncan, "but if the worst should happen, the Wardens will bear the responsibility", he said vehemently, pointing at Duncan.

Now that the danger had passed, Duncan, Wynne and Irving all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why don't we all sit down, and relax for a few minutes, as this has been a very stressful morning", Irving urged gently, trying to help relieve the tension in the room. "Wynne, would you be so kind as to fetch one of the young apprentices, and have him bring in some fruit and cheeses and some berry wine from the kitchen, as I'm sure none of us have had breakfast yet."

Wynne nodded her head in acknowledgement, but stopped to cast a rejuvenation spell on each of them, before turning to do as she was asked. Maker knows they needed it after all that. Once she was out of sight, she cast a rejuvenation spell on herself as she silently thanked the Maker and Andraste for saving Shadow from the horrible fate that Greagoir was about to force on her.

"_If only I had been strong enough back then …._", Wynne thought with great sadness. "_No! Don't go down that road, that only leads to heartache_", Wynne mentally scolded herself as she continued down to the apprentices quarters to find someone to bring up their breakfast.

Once Wynne had rejoined them and tempers had cooled a bit, they set about the business of discussing Shadow's raising. The first thing Duncan asked was that Wynne be made the child's caretaker. Wynne was a bit stunned to say the least, but readily agreed. Wynne would care for her until she was old enough to care for herself - she would be her teacher, her mentor, the one to instruct her in the use of her magic.

Neither Greagoir or Irving saw any problem with that, as both of them respected Wynne. She was wise, loyal to the Circle, and was also the only other person who knew about who Shadow actually was, since she was there at her birth.

Duncan told them that he would visit as often as his duties allowed and add things to her education and training, that would help prepare her for the day when she would join the Wardens. He told them that he would occasionally bring other instructors with him that would instruct her in specific subjects that he could not. He also said that he would be taking her on short excursions from time to time, for specialized training that can only be done with the Wardens. And that because the training dealt with Warden secrets, no templar would be allowed to accompany them.

Greagoir made to protest, but Duncan stopped him, reassuring him that if the worst happened and she became possessed that the Wardens would not hesitate to deal with it. Greagoir seemed satisfied with that, so they continued with the discussion. Once they had ironed out most of the details for now, they turned their attention to acquiring the things that Shadow would need.

The subject turned to coin, and Greagoir asked if the Circle was going to have to bear the burden of paying for everything, as an infant can be much more expensive than a child.

"I only ask because she is to be a Warden and not a circle mage", Greagoir complained, "I don't see why the Circle should have to shoulder the burden alone".

"Have no fear Greagoir", Duncan reassured the templar, "the Order will see to it that she is provided for, as a recruit she is _our_ responsibility." "And I am also quiet sure that her parents the _Couslands _would be willing to help their daughter in any way they can", Duncan stated pointedly.

That seemed to shut the templar up, and having nothing further to complain about, Greagoir left Irving's office to see to his own duties.

oooooooOOOOOOooooooo

The next few weeks were spent at the markets in Lothering, which was the closest trade village to the Tower, where they could gather all of the supplies that Shadow would need for now. Wynne volunteered to go with Duncan, to help with all the necessary purchases. Greagoir insisted that a templar accompany them, since mages were not permitted to leave the tower unsupervised.

By the time all was said and done, it was Duncan, Shadow, Wynne, the young apprentice Jordan, and Knight-Captain Fredrick who went. Wynne surmised that Greagoir was not going to leave anything to chance, as this type of duty was usually assigned to a recruit or low ranking knight, not the Knight-Captain.

They spent several weeks buying everything from clothing to a crib, diapers, blankets, burp cloths, a few baby toys, everything an infant would need. Duncan even found a unique silver rattle with a Griffon symbol on it. It took a lot longer than Duncan had thought it would, as many times they had to wait for new merchants to pass through because many of them didn't have what they needed. Duncan didn't mind though, it was just that much more time he could spend with his daughter.

Duncan was pleased that few questions were asked about the unusual child he carried, as many people were either too afraid or too much in awe to draw too near. Those who did have the courage to approach him assumed that the child's unusual looks were due to the fact that Duncan was a Warden, as he told them that the child was his, which was true in a sense so Duncan wasn't _exactly_ lying. Since no one had ever actually seen a child born to a Warden, they took her unusualness as being nothing more than that. Once they had purchased everything they thought she could possibly need for now, they headed back to the tower.

Wynne was a Senior Enchanter, so she had her own room, which was good considering the amount of items that little Shadow needed. It also meant they would have a fair amount of privacy, as the senior enchanters were not watched nearly as closely as the apprentices.

oooooooOOOOOOooooooo

It was late evening by the time they had finished unpacking and putting all of Shadow's new things away. Wynne sat in the new rocking chair they had acquired while on their shopping excursion, Shadow sleeping peacefully on her shoulder. She looked up at Duncan with a questioning expression, he looked like he was struggling with something. "Something on your mind Warden?", Wynne asked tentatively.

"Wynne", Duncan sighed more than said her name, "now that this business with Greagoir is resolved …" Duncan hesitated for a moment, he didn't want to, but the longer he waited the harder it was going to be.

Wynne watched as he waged some internal battle with himself. And though he was trying to hide it from her, she could tell it was agonizing for him.

"Now that this business with Greagoir is resolved", he started again. Duncan took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "It's time for me to head back to the Wardens", he said all in a rush as he turned away from them to hide his face until he could get himself under control.

Just saying the words tore at Duncan's heart. As soon as they were out of his mouth he wanted to take them back, to stay here with her. He needed more time, wanted more time with his daughter, but knew deep down that he couldn't delay any longer. He had already been gone for nearly four months already, truth be told. So with a heavy heart, and tears stinging the back of his eyes, he told Wynne that he would be leaving in the morning.

Wynne stood up from the rocking chair and crossed the short distance to where Duncan was standing. She placed her free hand on his arm and gave it a reassuring pat, like a mother would a son. She could see it in his eyes that this was tearing him up inside, it was the same look she had had all those years ago when they had taken her son from her.

Wynne understood his pain all to well. She wanted to tell him to take comfort in the fact that he could come back and see her at least, but she knew it wouldn't help, wouldn't quell the aching in his heart. Painful moments were sometimes better gotten over with quickly, like ripping off a bandage. It would hurt like the archdemon itself was ripping out your guts, but with time the pain would subside.

Wynne nervously cleared her throat as tears stung her own eyes, "Well you had best get some shut eye then Warden, long day ahead of you tomorrow. Now give your daughter a kiss goodnight so I can put her to bed", Wynne ordered weakly, her voice starting to tremble.

Duncan did as he was told. He bent down and placed a kiss tenderly on the top of Shadow's head. As he did so, he closed his eyes tightly shut to hold back the tears that threatened to spill as he lovingly stroked her silky hair. He lingered there for a moment as he took a deep trembling breath, taking in her sweet calming scent that was uniquely hers. It calmed him, as it always did.

"_By the Maker, I'm going to miss her so much … more than I ever thought possible_", Duncan thought sadly. He didn't trust himself to speak for fear his resolve would crumble, so instead he thought silently the words he couldn't speak, "_I love you my little one, more than I can ever say_."

Shadow stirred just then and he opened his eyes to see a tiny smile creep up on her small face, as if she had heard his thoughts. It nearly undid him. He bid Wynne a hasty goodnight as he fled her quarters, headed for his own. He was walking as fast as he possibly could without attracting attention from the few mages that were still wandering the halls. Once the door to his room came into sight, Duncan sprinted the rest of the distance, and hurried into the sanctuary of his room.

Now, finally alone, Duncan allowed the tears he had been holding back to flow. He pressed his back to the door and slid down it to the floor as great heaving sobs ripped through him. He wasn't sure just how long he sat there on the cold marble floor crying his heart out, hours maybe, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was going to be leaving tomorrow without his daughter, his heart, his happiness. Slowly the crying died down and the sobs turned to whimpering, interrupted by the occasional hiccup. Duncan felt like a thousand giant ogres were crushing him, so great was the pain in his heart. He felt wrung out and painfully empty.

At some point before dawn, Duncan managed to drag himself to his bed. He didn't bother to get undressed, he no longer cared, about anything. Sleep finally claimed him sometime later as the first pre-dawn glow lit the sky, though it was not a restful sleep by any means.

oooooooOOOOOOooooooo

A loud knock at the door woke Duncan from his not-so-restful sleep a few hours later. Duncan mutter a muffled, "Enter", as his face was still buried in the pillow that he had fallen on when he crawled into bed last night.

Jordan peeked through the doorway just enough to tell Duncan that his breakfast was ready and asked if he wanted it to be brought up to him. Jordan didn't want to disturb Duncan anymore than was necessary, as Wynne had warned him this morning that the warden had had a very rough night.

Duncan turned over in his bed so that he could look at the boy as he replied, "Thank you Jordan, but I'm really not hungry right now", Duncan croaked, still half asleep. Duncan hoped that would be enough of an explanation as he did not want to have to explain why he wasn't hungry.

Luckily he wouldn't have to, as Jordan nodded his head and asked if there was anything he _could_ get for him, to which Duncan replied somewhat hoarsely, "A bucket of water for the wash basin and a washcloth if you would be so kind."

"Right away Warden", Jordan said quietly as he closed the door behind him.

Duncan groaned morosely. He didn't want to get up, didn't want to have to acknowledge the fact that he would be leaving today. But as another knock sounded at the door, he knew he didn't really have a choice. He felt like a mabari had used him for a chew toy as he stiffly sat up in bed. "Come in", Duncan replied when the person knocked again, his voice sounding strained and still a bit gruff from all of the crying he had done last night.

Jordan came in bearing the bucket of water and washcloth that Duncan had asked for and sat them down on the vanity. Once he had deposited his burden, Jordan turned to Duncan and asked if there was anything else he could get for him, to which Duncan replied in the negative. "Well if you think of anything, let me know, I'd be more than happy to get it for you", Jordan replied quietly before giving a quick nod and leaving.

Duncan slowly stood up, stretching to try and work out some of the kinks from his poor nights sleep, before walking over to the vanity to wash up. He placed his hands on the edge as he leaned in to look at himself in the mirror. He didn't recognize the face that was staring back at him. The deep lines of worry in his forehead had not been there before, and the hair around his temples had not been grey as it is now. He felt lost, unsure of himself - with a sadness that went beyond tears.

With a resigned sigh Duncan pushed back from the vanity and removed his tunic, so that he could clean himself up a bit, his gryphon medallion jingling as he pulled his shirt over his head. He emptied the bucket of water into the basin and grabbed the washcloth.

Yet another knock sounded at the door as he was washing his face. "_Can't they just leave me be_", Duncan mentally groaned. He walked over to the door, grumbling about not wanting to see anyone, and opened it to find Wynne standing there with little Shadow in her arms.

Wynne blushed slightly at seeing Duncan with no shirt on, and looked down at the floor. Duncan blushed a little too when he realized he'd just answered the door half naked. "Come in Wynne, is there something wrong?", Duncan asked, worry creeping into his voice.

"No …. ", Wynne said slowly, staring at the gryphon medallion that hung from his neck, "but I do wish to speak with you about something." Duncan noticed her staring at his medallion with some intensity. He motioned for her to sit in the chair near the vanity, as he sat down on the bed across from her and nodded for her to continue. "I know this whole thing has been very hard on you Duncan", Wynne began in that gentle motherly voice of hers, "and I think I have a solution that may help."

"Oh", Duncan said with mild surprise as he arched his left brow and cocked his head slightly at her. He didn't mean to sound skeptical but at that moment he didn't think anything, short of running away with Shadow, would help ease the pain that he felt every time he thought of leaving her here.

Wynne gave him a sympathetic smile before telling him, "I know a spell that may make your separation bearable. I would need something of yours that I could break in half, so that each of you could keep a piece. The spell would allow you both to know where the other is at any given time, and how you are feeling. It would also let the you know if the other were … _safe_."

Duncan looked at her curiously for a moment - the way she said safe - then it struck him, they'd be able to tell when and if the other died. Duncan swallowed hard, he didn't even want to think about _**that**_ ! But the idea of knowing where she was, how she was feeling, and that she was safe appealed to Duncan. And for the first time, Duncan felt a glimmer of hope that he might actually get through this in one piece.

"Does that hold any meaning to you?", Wynne asked, pointing to the medallion hanging from Duncan's neck.

Duncan looked thoughtful for a moment as he lifted the medallion up to look at it, a far off contented expression on his face, as if recalling a pleasant memory.

"I only ask because I think it would be the ideal piece to use for the spell", Wynne continued, as she sat back in the chair and rubbed Shadow's back.

"It was a gift from a dear friend of mine, King Maric Theirin", Duncan replied with as much of a smile as he could muster as he looked back at Wynne.

Wynne's eyes widened a bit in her surprise as she said, "Yes I think that will do nicely." Wynne stood up and walked over to Duncan and handed Shadow to him. "May I", Wynne asked as she pointed to the medallion. Duncan nodded, so Wynne unclasped the medallion from around his neck and cast a freeze spell on it. She took the frozen medallion over to the vanity and placed it on it, so that only half of it was resting on the edge. With one hand holding the medallion down she unsheathed the small dagger she always carried with her and slammed the pummel down on the medallion - breaking it in half.

She then used just a touch of a fire spell to warm the pieces back up again, before handing one half to Duncan. The other half she placed in Shadows tiny hand as she told Duncan to help her hold it.

"Concentrate on your daughter, on the things that you want to be able to know, like knowing where she is, how she is feeling, and that she is safe", Wynne told Duncan as she began casting the spell. The two halves of the medallion began to glow with a brilliantly bright white light.

Duncan concentrated hard on the things that Wynne had told him, adding to that the ability to convey their feelings and thoughts to each other, no matter how far apart they were. As he focused on that, the two halves grew brighter still and began to give off a gentle warmth.

The glow began to recede as Wynne finished the spell. With a satisfied smile she said, " I think it worked." Wynne took the two pieces from them and said, "I need to have Owain put new holes in these and make new chains for them, though I think I will have him make a bracelet for Shadow for now."

Duncan gave Wynne a genuine smile, the first she had seen him give since he came to the tower. "Thank you Wynne, I owe you a debt of gratitude that I can never repay", Duncan beamed as he stood up and closed the distance between them, brushing her cheek with a gentle kiss.

"Think nothing of it Duncan", Wynne said with a smile and a slight blush, though her voice belied a deep sadness. Wynne gave Duncan's arm a gentle pat as she continued, "I know what it's like to be separated from your loved one, I was only too happy to help lighten that burden for you." Wynne took a deep steadying breath before continuing, "Now let me get this done for you, so you can get on your way before it gets to be too late", though her voice was trembling slightly.

Wynne left him then, heading for Owain's workroom, glad to not have to continue the conversation. It was still hard for her to talk about the loss of her own child. "_At least I was able to help save little Shadow from the same fate_", Wynne thought, taking comfort in the good she had done.

Duncan sat back on his bed with Shadow, thinking about everything that had transpired over the last few months. He could still barely believe it. If someone had told him a few months ago that he would be a father (well sort of), and that he would recruit his own infant into the Grey Wardens to save her life, he would have looked at them and asked them how much lyrium they had just eaten. But here he was and yes he had done just that. "_The Maker is a right royal arse, but sometimes he gets some bright ideas_", Duncan thought with a sort of bitter mirth.

Wynne returned a couple of hours later with the new medallions. She helped Duncan clasp his around his neck, and placed the bracelet on Shadow, which she said was magically made to self adjust to her wrist as she grew until she was old enough to wear it on a chain. The chain and bracelet, as well as another chain for when Shadow got older, were made from starmetal and thus virtually unbreakable. It also gave the chains a beautiful silvery blue glow.

Now that the medallions were on them, Duncan could feel Shadow's contentment, and he finally felt he could breathe a little easier. "Wynne …", Duncan sighed lightly, "I had best start getting things ready if I am going to be able to head out today", as he handed Shadow back to her.

"Of course Duncan", Wynne said sympathetically, "I will bring Shadow down to the entrance when you are ready so that you can say your goodbyes before you leave." Wynne gave him an encouraging smile as she patted his arm in that motherly way of hers with her free hand. Duncan nodded, thanking her again for everything she had done for him, and began gathering his things to be packed. Wynne left him to his packing, and went to the kitchen to get some goats milk for Shadow for lunch.

oooooooOOOOOOooooooo

It was after midday before Duncan came down to the main entrance, his pack slung over his shoulder, which was much lighter now that it no longer had to carry so much. As promised, Wynne was there with Shadow as the templars opened the giant doors to allow Duncan to leave.

"May you have a pleasant journey Duncan, and may the Maker watch over you", Wynne said to him as she stepped out onto the landing of the entrance.

"Thank you Wynne, and may the Maker watch over you as well", Duncan replied, though his voice was a bit strained. "_Maker give me strength_", Duncan silently pleaded, as he took Shadow in his arms one last time. He held her close, breathing in her unique, calming scent as he thought the words he could not say for fear that he would lose the thin grasp he had on his emotions. "_I love you dearly my little one, you be a good girl for Wynne now, learn well and I will see you again_", Duncan thought as he held her close.

Shadow smiled and cooed, and though she was only an infant she could feel the love that Duncan felt for her through the medallion she now wore on her wrist, and heard the words as if he had spoken them aloud. Duncan gave her one last hug, and kissed her tiny fingers one last time before he handed her back to Wynne. "Take good care of our little girl Wynne, for she is your daughter now too", Duncan said very quietly, so that only Wynne could hear him.

Wynne nodded her head, and promised that she would as tears started to leak from her eyes. All of those feelings from the past welling up inside her, threatening to burst free. Duncan, Wynne realized, was giving her the same gift that Bryce had given him - the chance to be a parent. "_Maker bless his heart_", Wynne thought gratefully as more tears leaked from her eyes.

Duncan gave her a small, understanding smile before turning and heading down the long stairway to the small dock, where the ferryman waited to take Duncan back across the lake.

oooooooOOOOOOooooooo

It was well into the afternoon when Duncan's boat finally docked on the other side of the lake. It had been windy and the lake had been choppy, slowing their progress to the other side, so Duncan decided to stay another night at The Spoiled Princess before heading home in the morning.

"_I should probably check on my horse, I had not intended to leave him stabled here for so long_", Duncan mused as he disembarked from the boat. He thanked Kester for bringing him across before heading for the stables.

The stable boy, Farrel, came running out when he saw Duncan approaching the stables. "Welcome back M'lord", the boy said with an enthusiastic smile. "Will you be needing your horse M'lord?"

"Not until tomorrow morning Farrel, thank you", Duncan replied and then asked, "How has he been fairing?"

"Quite well M'lord, I have been taking good care of him. He has been blanketed and brushed every night, and has had all the feed he can eat." Farrel gave Duncan a conspiratorial look as he moved closer to him. "I even managed to nick a few apples from the kitchen for him", he said in a low whisper. Farrel gave Duncan a sly grin as he said, "He really enjoys the apples."

Duncan let out a hearty laugh at that - the boy reminded him of himself at that age. "Indeed he does Farrel, indeed he does", Duncan chuckled as he followed Farrel into the stable to check on his horse.

"_It feels good to be able to laugh again, after everything that has happened, I wasn't sure if I would be able to ever really laugh again_", Duncan thought with some relief.

As he was exiting the stables he stopped, took his coin purse from his waist, and took out several silver coins. These he handed to Farrel, who's eyes grew as big as saucers, as he thanked Duncan profusely for his generosity.

"You are more than welcome lad. You have taken excellent care of my horse in my absence, and deserve to be rewarded", Duncan informed him with a warm smile and a pat on the shoulder.

After Duncan had said goodnight to Farrel, who once again promised to take the best care of his horse, Duncan headed to the inn to see about getting a room and some dinner. He said hello to Seth, who gave him the very same room he had had the last time, and took his order for dinner. Duncan thanked Seth, paid for his room and meal, before heading up to his room.

Duncan sighed as he put his pack down next to the bed. "_So it is finally done_", He thought with a sad kind of relief. He took the medallion out from under his armor and looked at it as he thought about Shadow. She had been upset when Duncan had left, he could feel her distress, but Wynne seemed to have a motherly way about her and she soon calmed back down - much to Duncan's relief. "It seems I chose well when I assigned Wynne to be her caretaker", Duncan thought contently.

A thought struck him just then - In all the chaos at the tower I never wrote to Bryce and Eleanor to let them know that Shadow had arrived safely at the tower, they must be worried sick, its been nearly four months since I left with Shadow.

With that thought in mind, he rummaged through his pack until he found a sheaf of parchment, ink, and a quill pen. He walked over to the small table and sat down, pondering how he was going to tell his dear friends that he was forced to make their daughter a Warden to save her life. Duncan decided to write several letters, the first of course, to Bryce and Eleanor, one to his dear friend King Maric, one to his Commander Renaldo, and one to the Grand Cleric of the chantry.


End file.
